ciroccoj: (silliness)
OK, I can't decide if this is the zenith or the nadir of my many years of fic-reading.

I have just finished reading a fic in which there is slash, male pregnancy (um... sort of), bestiality (um... sort of), and the following lines: "Millimeters from his groin lay a bloody, pinkish blob the size of a galleon. He'd shat out an organ!" and "Did his pancreas just cheep at him?"

No, I'm not kidding: The Misadventures of Draco Malfoy, Ferrett.

With that, I'm off to bed.
ciroccoj: (prettiest)
... and fools seldom differ. Saw both of these on [livejournal.com profile] crack_van today:

[livejournal.com profile] medie's and [livejournal.com profile] tamalinn's .

Hee :)

So of course I had to go back to where it all started, THE SECRET DIARY OF LEGOLAS SON OF WEENUS.

Excerpt:
Day One: Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there. Agreed to follow some tiny little man to Mordor to throw ring into volcano. Very important mission - gold ring so tacky.

And after I went there, naturally I had to re-visit some of the other Secret Diaries of Cassandra Claire.

Excerpt, from Gandalf's Diary:
Day Two: Bilbo's Birthday party improved by substantial amount of hobbit weed. Everyone sho nice. Bilbo nice too. Lights sho pretty. Frodo not bad either. Hobbits sho cuddly. Whups. Fellover.
ciroccoj: (Default)
OK, I think I almost popped something laughing at this one:

So You Think You Can Dance
Summary: When McGonagall gave the dancing lesson to the Gryffindors in the GoF movie, what were Snape and the Slytherins doing at the same time?

Excerpt: Snape stopped in mid-shimmy.
ciroccoj: (Default)
The summary speaks for itself: "Twelve Valentines from the year 2006, not to be taken too seriously. Pairing-wise, there's HP/DM, LM/NM, HP/RW, RW/DM, SS/HP, SS/NL, DM/PP, HP/GW, LM/HG, and RW/HG. Did I forget anything?"

Excerpt:
To: Lucius Malfoy
From: Narcissa Malfoy


My dear husband,

Happy Valentine's Day. I'm sorry you have to work late again, but of course I understand the demands of your current position. I just wanted to remind you that I wasn't born yesterday and that I'm the only one with a key to your Gringott's vault for the duration of your probation period.

A Dozen Valentines

November 2012

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