I can say from personal experience that the best way to raise a child totally sheltered from the evils of pop culture is to live in the country. (And yes, I realize that's not really feasible for most people!) I grew up in a house that was at least 5 miles away from any possible playmates, and my folks drove me into school so I had no experience riding buses. I only heard the music they wanted me to listen to, and any TV I watched was what they were also watching. Of course, things were a lot easier because we had no computers, and only two channels on the TV! But the big thing was I had no real socialization with other children outside of school hours. In the summer, a week or more could pass without me seeing another child's face. I think I had maybe 2 or 3 overnight visits with a pal before high school, and attended maybe 2 birthday parties my entire childhood. That far out, country kids just didn't get invited to things and my folks had never heard of the term 'play dates.'
I was in 6th grade before I heard of rock'n roll. I was in 9th grade before I really knew what sex was, and then I still didn't understand the mechanics. I think I was in 10th grade before I heard the "f" word and thoroughly humilitaed myself by asking a group of seniors what it meant.
I guess what I'm saying is that while I understand and respect the urge to protect kids from culture, I also think there's a point where maybe parents worry too much. We all have to live in culture, sink or swim in it. I think if parents do a good job of instilling values at home (rather than just teaching a lot of 'thou shalt not' rules), and especially of practicing what they preach, then a kid is going to remember that. It's like with my college kids, the ones whose parents have been good guides to them, they don't have the kind of problems the kids do whose parents were overly strict and religious. Those kids will either be the prudes or they'll so rebel on the other end that they become the ones with alchol and drug problems.
I know my folks did the best they could with me, and they certainly weren't trying to screw me up. But the way I was raised has definitely led to social problems later in life. At 41, I'm still not comfortable with my peers and don't fit in well. So I guess what I'm saying is there's a happy medium somewhere and you parental types have a really hard job, I know.
Two Sides To Sheltering
I was in 6th grade before I heard of rock'n roll. I was in 9th grade before I really knew what sex was, and then I still didn't understand the mechanics. I think I was in 10th grade before I heard the "f" word and thoroughly humilitaed myself by asking a group of seniors what it meant.
I guess what I'm saying is that while I understand and respect the urge to protect kids from culture, I also think there's a point where maybe parents worry too much. We all have to live in culture, sink or swim in it. I think if parents do a good job of instilling values at home (rather than just teaching a lot of 'thou shalt not' rules), and especially of practicing what they preach, then a kid is going to remember that. It's like with my college kids, the ones whose parents have been good guides to them, they don't have the kind of problems the kids do whose parents were overly strict and religious. Those kids will either be the prudes or they'll so rebel on the other end that they become the ones with alchol and drug problems.
I know my folks did the best they could with me, and they certainly weren't trying to screw me up. But the way I was raised has definitely led to social problems later in life. At 41, I'm still not comfortable with my peers and don't fit in well. So I guess what I'm saying is there's a happy medium somewhere and you parental types have a really hard job, I know.