Beavertails

[ciroccoj]

I was asked what beavertails are and the best answer I could come up with was, "Canada's attempt to apologize for poutine". So I went and typed 'beavertails' on google, and came up with this website:

http://www.beavertailsinc.com/

The site was apparently written by someone who'd recently ingested some hash-beavertails, eg:

But BeaverTails® are more than a tasty, wholesome and unique snack ... they are an experience! Fun to walk around with ... fun to share with others ... fun to hold in your hands and eat! Just plain old fashioned FUN!

Uh... O... K...

What's So 'Dam' Special About BeaverTails®?

They are;
* unique ... wildly delicious ... nothing quite like them
* served warm, served fresh ... served fun !!!
* intriguing, animated preparation
* flexible ... all types of toppings
* what you eat when you are somewhere having fun ...

Uh, no. They're a flat pastry cooked in oil and then covered with any of a bunch of cool toppings. They're not ambrosia. They will not singlehandedly brighten your day and put a sparkle in your eyes and a bounce in your step. Especially since you generally eat them while wearing skates, so bouncing = bad idea. But they are pretty darn good.

Unfortunately, they don't make up for poutine. Nothing could, really.