bubbles

Top thoughts bouncing around aimlessly tonight:

• Can't imagine taking care of an ailing parent long-term.
  
  
• I've been trying to find bright sides to this situation. Here's one: at least my mother will not die after a long battle with dementia, which has always been one of her fears. And after dealing with just the amount of cognitive dysfunction she is experiencing right now, I can see why.
  
  
• It's bizarre to really connect with one of my closest high school friends over the actual or impending deaths of our parents.
  
  
• Must call my aunt Mary (mother's sister) tomorrow. She called me one morning a few days ago, asked about my mother, started to cry when I told her how she was doing, and hung up. I've been worried about her ever since. I've let myself not call her back enough days now, allowed one morning emergency after another to be more important than calling her back. Not tomorrow.
  
  
• Can't relate to people who talk serious stress out - eg my mother's other sister Dory. I can whine about certain stressors till the cows come home, but true matters of life or death leave me rather silent, at least physically. I can sometimes get it out on paper (screen, whatever) but I've noticed myself not talking ever since we got the news. Dory does not have this problem.
  
  And when I start to feel impatient, wondering why she's looking to me to help her talk out her stress over this, I suddenly remember: it's my mother and her baby sister who's dying. We both need all the support we can get. If I can provide that for her, maybe that's worth the occasional aggravation of having to talk about things I don't want to talk about.
  
  
• A glass of red wine is potent when you normally don't drink anything.
  
  
• Looking forward to Chris being home for Canada Day, and going downtown for the red & white madness. It's one of the perks of being in Ottawa; the rest of the country waves around a few flags and tootles some horns; downtown Ottawa goes absolutely apesh*t ;)
  
  
• Queer As Folk Brian Kinney Quote of the Week: (looking at a hunky guy modeling underwear) "I don't know if he's gonna sell any underwear, but he sure as hell is gonna sell a lot of kleenex."