Goblet of Scorching Hotness

OK, I think I just herniated something. By the same person who summarized Troy and inspired my "But baby, they're smarter than you" icon, here is Goblet of Scorching Hotness by mistful. A few quotes:

DRACO: Daddy, when can I have a pimp cane of my very own?
LUCIUS: When you can use it like a man. Shacka lacka swish!

AUDIENCE: Inquiring minds want to know why Dumbledore seems to be wearing a version of the Beauxbatons robes.
DUMBLEDORE: Sometimes I just like to feel pretty.

DUMBLEDORE: And the contestants are Viktor 'Too Sexy For His Broom' Krum, Fleur 'Voulez Vous Coucher Avec Moi' Delacour, Cedric 'Handsome As the Devil, But Perfectly Divine' Diggory, and... Harry 'What the Fuck Is Going On Here?' Potter!

RON: I'm sorry, my hearing's gone all swimmy with horror. Which of your girl parts did you want me to touch?

***
Speaking of which, we went to see Goblet of Fire yesterday. The kids liked it, judging from their hour-long question session about it this morning, but they were also scared peeless during quite a few scenes (not surprising; so was I), and don't want to watch it right away when we get it on DVD.

( Spoilers ahoy )