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ciroccojSo, the shrink.
Went again yesterday. A lot of talk about exploring and free association and facing my childhood such that I will no longer be a "prisoner of my past", and...
Um... well, I described Justin's excessive noise and violence and how I try really hard to do positive self-talk and tell myself I not only love him, but also actually like him, and yadda yadda yadda... and how it's hard to keep that up indefinitely with a kid who is always breaking things and hitting and assaulting your ears. I try really hard, but... when I let down my guard I think, "I'm BRUISED!! My ears HURT!! I'm tired of everything getting BROKEN in our house!! This is NOT FUN!!" (pause) "OK, back to positive self-talk."
"Perhaps his behaviour is caused by your emotional unavailability."
Segue into a little discussion about how long he's been loud and destructive (3.5 years) and how long I've been depressed (off and on, 4 years) and how often children's misbehaviour is due to the mother's inability to bond or be an effective parent (most of the time). Conclusion: cure the mother, and the child will be fine.
No idea how to feel about this.
Went again yesterday. A lot of talk about exploring and free association and facing my childhood such that I will no longer be a "prisoner of my past", and...
Um... well, I described Justin's excessive noise and violence and how I try really hard to do positive self-talk and tell myself I not only love him, but also actually like him, and yadda yadda yadda... and how it's hard to keep that up indefinitely with a kid who is always breaking things and hitting and assaulting your ears. I try really hard, but... when I let down my guard I think, "I'm BRUISED!! My ears HURT!! I'm tired of everything getting BROKEN in our house!! This is NOT FUN!!" (pause) "OK, back to positive self-talk."
"Perhaps his behaviour is caused by your emotional unavailability."
Segue into a little discussion about how long he's been loud and destructive (3.5 years) and how long I've been depressed (off and on, 4 years) and how often children's misbehaviour is due to the mother's inability to bond or be an effective parent (most of the time). Conclusion: cure the mother, and the child will be fine.
No idea how to feel about this.
