back to school

[ciroccoj]

Pretty good day so far.

• I came back to school yesterday and at the end of the day I was kind of tired, but otherwise fine. We'd decided I could go because Chris has class on Wednesday, so if I needed bailing out, I could call him. I didn't. So here I am, back again.
  
  Don't think I'll come tomorrow, though - 3.5 hours of class in a row is probably not a good idea this week. However, next week I hope to be back for good.
  
  I'm down to minimal pain meds now - like, 4 advil, 2 tylenol/day. And what I am taking, I'm mostly taking because of my leg. Weird, isn't it? I went under the knife two weeks ago and right now what hurts the most is my right leg, which has been numb since the surgery. Chris figures when they did the spinal they must have nicked a nerve. He says that as nerves heal, what you first feel is pain. Oh goody.
  
  
• Joined Weight Watchers Online yesterday. I had joined once before (before I got pregnant with Justin) and I really liked the philosophy (ie moderation) and the system but I didn't actually get much out of the meetings. Maybe it was just the people I was with, but they all seemed to be a lot wingier about their weight loss than I was. I decided it really wasn't for me when the leader led us through a 'visualization exercise' that went as follows:
  
  "Close your eyes, and take your imagination to a place in the future."
  
  Well, I'm immediately thinking of Star Trek. But that's not what she means.
  
  "Picture yourself, in the future."
  
  I picture my face, with grey hair surrounding it.
  
  "Picture a thinner you."
  
  Narrow the face a bit.
  
  "Picture how you feel, as the thinner you."
  
  Pretty much the same as the fatter me.
  
  "Picture what you will do as the thinner you."
  
  Ditto.
  
  "Picture what you will wear, as the thinner you."
  
  Ditto. Oh wait. Oh, crap. You mean I'll have to go shopping for clothes? Bummer. I hate shopping.
  
  "Picture how other people will respond to the thinner you."
  
  ... ?
  
  And on and on. And the most telling sign that I was just not meant for Weight Watchers meetings was that when the exercise was over, most of the others said that they felt a renewed sense of purpose in their weight loss venture. A real boost to their weight loss energies.
  
  Me, I felt a little sleepy. The leader had turned the lights down during the exercise.
  
  See, for me weight loss is not about feeling attractive or feeling good about myself or anything like that. It's about health. A balanced diet and healthy weight are better for you than eating chips and coke and being overweight. The fact that I look better at my ideal weight is a plus, but it's not the main point of weight loss for me. I got the feeling that (in Kingston, at least) the priorities of most people in WW were reversed - appearance first, health second.
  
  So, now I've joined again, but this time, online. So I can still get the tips and all that fun stuff, but don't have to go to meetings.
  
  
• Today is my mom's 60th birthday. It's also the day after the doctors were supposed to return her bone marrow to her. Hope that's gone well.