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Mar. 28th, 2004 07:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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hallucinateme and cassatt, and with apologies (sort of) to anyone offended by them:
The Republican Code of Ethics
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money, but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
4. The government has no business telling me I can't have guns, but when you want to exercise freedom of choice, then it's time for a Constitutional amendment.
5. George W (6% unemployment, $87+ billion to Iraq, half-trillion dollar deficit) is doing a great job getting us out of the economic mess that Clinton (3.8% unemployment, peace, huge surplus) got us into.
6. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
7. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
8. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
9. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
10. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
11. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
12. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
13. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
14. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
15. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.
16. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about nonexistent Weapons of Mass Destruction to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
17. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
18. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
19. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
20. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
21. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
22. We have to run background checks on every Muslim traveler to the U.S. because those bastards killed 2,800 Americans on 9/11, but a background check on gun buyers? No way! 15,000 gun-related deaths in the U.S.? C'mon. Guns don't kill people; people kill people.
23. We're leaving no child behind. Entire public school systems, that's another story.
24. Americans shouldn't buy imported goods, but other countries should all buy our stuff.
25. The Right is still bashing a president who's been out of office for three years, who made our economy healthy, and who didn't alienate the rest of the world's leaders. The minute anyone says anything about little Georgie, it's wrong.
26. John Ashcroft can spy on you, tap your phone, check your email, even search your home. An independent investigation into the administration? Not a chance.
11 Admonitions in Leviticus that Fundamentalists Conveniently Forget About
1. Death Penalty for Adultery
"If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death." (Lev. 20:10) [Leviticus lists four other kinds of adultery for which the death penalty is mandatory.]
2. Human Slavery Sanctioned
"As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: You may buy male and females slaves from among the nations that are round about you. You may also buy from among the strangers who sojourn with you and their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may bequeath them to your sons after you, to inherit as a possession for ever." (Lev. 25:44-46)
3. Prohibition Against Eating Fat
"It shall be a perpetual statute throughout your generations, in all your dwelling places, that you eat neither fat nor blood." (Lev. 3:17)
4. Death Penalty for Using the Lord’s Name in Vain
"He who blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death; all the congregations shall stone him; the sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name shall be put to death." (Lev. 24:16)
5. Disabled Individuals Barred From Church Services
"For no one who has a blemish shall draw near, a man blind or lame, or who has a mutilated face or a limb too long, or a man who has an injured foot or an injured hand, or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or a man with a defect in his sights or an itching disease or scabs or crushed testicles; no man of the descendants of Aaron the priest who has a blemish shall come near to offer the Lord’s offering by fire; since he has a blemish, he shall not come near to offer the bread of his God.... He shall not come near the veil or approach the altar, because he has a blemish, that he may not profane my sanctuaries." (Lev. 21:18-23)
6. Forbidding of Hair and Beard Trimming
"You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard." (Lev. 19:27)
7. Prohibition Against Eating Pork
"And the swine, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chew the cud, is unclean to you. Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch; they are unclean to you." (Lev. 11:7-8)
8. Mandatory Animal Sacrifices
"If anyone sins unwittingly in any of the things which the Lord has commanded not to be done, and does any one of them, if it is the anointed priest who sins, thus bringing guilt on the people, then let him offer for the sin which he has committed a young bull without blemish to the Lord as a sin offering. He shall bring the bull to the door of the tent of meeting before the Lord, and lay his hand on the head of the bull, and kill the bull before the Lord...." (Lev. 4:1-10) [The first several chapters of Leviticus are devoted to compulsory animal sacrifices.]
9. Death Penalty for Spiritualists
"A man or woman who is a medium or a wizard shall be put to death; they shall be stones with stones, their blood shall be upon them." (Lev. 20:27)
10. Prohibition Against Eating Crab, Clams, Oysters
"Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that has not fins and scales, of the swimming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is an abomination to you. They shall remain an abomination to you; of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall have in abomination. Everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is an abomination to you." (Lev. 11:9-12)
11. Other Prohibitions
"You shall not let your cattle breed with a different kind; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed; nor shall there come upon you a garment made of two kinds of stuff." (Lev. 19:19)
The above list is from 'The Gay Book of Lists' by Leigh W. Rutledge.
Actually, let me clarify: apologies to the two or three people I know who speak against gay marriage without hatred, maliciousness, or hypocrisy, out of a principled point of view that just happens to be different from mine. Unfortunately, from what I've seen, they're a rather rare breed. Or perhaps it's just that I generally meet the wrong kind of anti-gay marriage advocates.
And now, off to get ready for our lightning strike on Kingston.
Later Edit: and could somebody please explain to me why the "busy" icon on this set always looks so damn cheerful? Personally, half the time when I'm busy I've got a steady stream of expletives streaming from me, and I'm about as cheerful as a wet day. And the damn little geeky tip-tapping cat gets on my nerves.
hallucinateme and cassatt, and with apologies (sort of) to anyone offended by them:The Republican Code of Ethics
1. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
2. The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
3. Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money, but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.
4. The government has no business telling me I can't have guns, but when you want to exercise freedom of choice, then it's time for a Constitutional amendment.
5. George W (6% unemployment, $87+ billion to Iraq, half-trillion dollar deficit) is doing a great job getting us out of the economic mess that Clinton (3.8% unemployment, peace, huge surplus) got us into.
6. A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.
7. Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.
8. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
9. Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.
10. If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.
11. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
12. HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.
13. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.
14. Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.
15. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him, and a bad guy when Bush couldn't find Bin Laden.
16. A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying about nonexistent Weapons of Mass Destruction to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
17. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.
18. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.
19. You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.
20. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
21. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
22. We have to run background checks on every Muslim traveler to the U.S. because those bastards killed 2,800 Americans on 9/11, but a background check on gun buyers? No way! 15,000 gun-related deaths in the U.S.? C'mon. Guns don't kill people; people kill people.
23. We're leaving no child behind. Entire public school systems, that's another story.
24. Americans shouldn't buy imported goods, but other countries should all buy our stuff.
25. The Right is still bashing a president who's been out of office for three years, who made our economy healthy, and who didn't alienate the rest of the world's leaders. The minute anyone says anything about little Georgie, it's wrong.
26. John Ashcroft can spy on you, tap your phone, check your email, even search your home. An independent investigation into the administration? Not a chance.
11 Admonitions in Leviticus that Fundamentalists Conveniently Forget About
1. Death Penalty for Adultery
"If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall be put to death." (Lev. 20:10) [Leviticus lists four other kinds of adultery for which the death penalty is mandatory.]
2. Human Slavery Sanctioned
"As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: You may buy male and females slaves from among the nations that are round about you. You may also buy from among the strangers who sojourn with you and their families that are with you, who have been born in your land; and they may be your property. You may bequeath them to your sons after you, to inherit as a possession for ever." (Lev. 25:44-46)
3. Prohibition Against Eating Fat
"It shall be a perpetual statute throughout your generations, in all your dwelling places, that you eat neither fat nor blood." (Lev. 3:17)
4. Death Penalty for Using the Lord’s Name in Vain
"He who blasphemes the name of the Lord shall be put to death; all the congregations shall stone him; the sojourner as well as the native, when he blasphemes the Name shall be put to death." (Lev. 24:16)
5. Disabled Individuals Barred From Church Services
"For no one who has a blemish shall draw near, a man blind or lame, or who has a mutilated face or a limb too long, or a man who has an injured foot or an injured hand, or a hunchback, or a dwarf, or a man with a defect in his sights or an itching disease or scabs or crushed testicles; no man of the descendants of Aaron the priest who has a blemish shall come near to offer the Lord’s offering by fire; since he has a blemish, he shall not come near to offer the bread of his God.... He shall not come near the veil or approach the altar, because he has a blemish, that he may not profane my sanctuaries." (Lev. 21:18-23)
6. Forbidding of Hair and Beard Trimming
"You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard." (Lev. 19:27)
7. Prohibition Against Eating Pork
"And the swine, because it parts the hoof and is cloven-footed but does not chew the cud, is unclean to you. Of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall not touch; they are unclean to you." (Lev. 11:7-8)
8. Mandatory Animal Sacrifices
"If anyone sins unwittingly in any of the things which the Lord has commanded not to be done, and does any one of them, if it is the anointed priest who sins, thus bringing guilt on the people, then let him offer for the sin which he has committed a young bull without blemish to the Lord as a sin offering. He shall bring the bull to the door of the tent of meeting before the Lord, and lay his hand on the head of the bull, and kill the bull before the Lord...." (Lev. 4:1-10) [The first several chapters of Leviticus are devoted to compulsory animal sacrifices.]
9. Death Penalty for Spiritualists
"A man or woman who is a medium or a wizard shall be put to death; they shall be stones with stones, their blood shall be upon them." (Lev. 20:27)
10. Prohibition Against Eating Crab, Clams, Oysters
"Everything in the waters that has fins and scales, whether in the seas or in the rivers, you may eat. But anything in the seas or the rivers that has not fins and scales, of the swimming creatures in the waters and of the living creatures that are in the waters, is an abomination to you. They shall remain an abomination to you; of their flesh you shall not eat, and their carcasses you shall have in abomination. Everything in the waters that has not fins and scales is an abomination to you." (Lev. 11:9-12)
11. Other Prohibitions
"You shall not let your cattle breed with a different kind; you shall not sow your field with two kinds of seed; nor shall there come upon you a garment made of two kinds of stuff." (Lev. 19:19)
The above list is from 'The Gay Book of Lists' by Leigh W. Rutledge.
Actually, let me clarify: apologies to the two or three people I know who speak against gay marriage without hatred, maliciousness, or hypocrisy, out of a principled point of view that just happens to be different from mine. Unfortunately, from what I've seen, they're a rather rare breed. Or perhaps it's just that I generally meet the wrong kind of anti-gay marriage advocates.
And now, off to get ready for our lightning strike on Kingston.
Later Edit: and could somebody please explain to me why the "busy" icon on this set always looks so damn cheerful? Personally, half the time when I'm busy I've got a steady stream of expletives streaming from me, and I'm about as cheerful as a wet day. And the damn little geeky tip-tapping cat gets on my nerves.
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no subject
Date: 2004-03-28 10:08 am (UTC)Though I'm pretty sure *some* fundamentalists remember #9 just fine--it's just that they can't kill witches these days without facing the wrath of the local justice system.
no subject
Date: 2004-03-28 10:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-03-28 01:30 pm (UTC)