there's never a lack of things to snark at

[ciroccoj]

(link from kaylarudbek):

Here's the thing. There are thoughtful, intelligent people out there who do not support the idea of gay marriage or civil unions. I know they're out there; I've even had very interesting and informative exchanges with a few of them on the subject. And while they did not convince me, I could certainly respect their opinions - especially since they seemed quite willing to respect mine.

Apparently, none of them were involved in the drafting of this official justification for a bill outlawing gay marriage or civil unions in the state of Virginia:

http://leg1.state.va.us/cgi-bin/legp504.exe?041+ful+HB751

which has to be one of the most bizarre bits of legal writing I've seen in a while. Some direct "quotes":

Whereas, if "same sex" unions are a civil right, then legal sanctions and coercion will be imposed against persons and institutions opposed to homosexual behavior or same sex unions.

Whereas, is that a complete grammatical sentence? Whereas, doesn't the whereas have to be followed by something other than a period?

churches whose teachings does not accept homosexual behavior as moral will lose their tax exempt status;

So will legislators whose editors does not proofread their official blurbs.

employers will be ineligible for government contracts unless they will hire and provide benefits to the "married homosexuals" and their "spouses" and "partners;"

They "will"? Oh "goody"!

Columnist George Will reports (Dec. 7., 2003) that Governor "Dean said that in terms of legal rights there is no practical difference between same-sex civil unions and marriages. Matthews: "So why are we quibbling over a name?" Dean: "Because marriage is very important to a lot of people who are pretty religious."

And this is part of a preamble because... whereas?

and homosexual groups helped organize a $100,000 law suit against a private religious school which refused to allow a homosexual 17 year old male student permission to bring his homosexual boyfriend to the school prom as his date;

Because it would have been wrong for him to bring his heterosexual boyfriend to his homosexual prom as a homosexual date. Are we getting a little thrill out of writing "homosexual"? I know I am. It's a fun word to write. Here, I'll write it again: homosexual. And now in different colours: homosexual. Homosexual. And of course, homosexual!

Comments

[tobiascharity.livejournal.com]

And now in different colours:

Oh, cirocco, you make my life happy. Virginia, however, does not. But you do. So that's okay. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Look how generous you were by not quibbling about the "refusal to allow permission to" redundancy!

[bast2.livejournal.com]

There are thoughtful, intelligent people out there who do not support the idea of gay marriage or civil unions

i hope i'm included in that--cause you know how i feel about it and why.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

i hope i'm included in that-

Heh, yeah, I was thinking of you and two other people when I wrote that. You all have your own reasons for being opposed, and I don't agree with them but can see where you're coming from. And I appreciate that none of you treat my own stance on the matter as anything evil - just different from yours.

These wanky dudes in Virginia are something else, though. Kinda wild-eyed paranoid, it seemed to me.

[kaylarudbek.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked the links. I was also wincing at the poor writing on the justification for the bill, as well as the ideas behind it.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the ideas behind it, I couldn't even get into, because it was just too depressingly stupid for words. But a little snark always puts me in a better mood :)