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ciroccoj(quote courtesy of George Carlin)
I so devoutly hope this is some kind of joke: OBJECTIVE:Christian Ministries
(Link courtesy of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
snarkhunter)
Some lowlights:
The rather disturbing Baby Jesus, who follows your cursor around the screen.
"Our parents are whacked out ondrugs religion so they send us here." (Actually, this one is howlingly funny. Go see it, if for no other reason than to meet the Atheist Goat!)
Some (March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.
Later Edit: Satyrs, which many believe to have been strictly demonic in origin due to the goat like features attributed to them by Pagans, were actually a conflation of demons and kangaroos by the ignorant Pagan natives of Greece. It is easy to see that the well-known features of satyrs -- two-legged, upright stance with elongated metatarsi; hirsuteness; a tail; long, pointed, horn-like ears; long or bearded face -- closely coincide with the general kangaroo body form. The more goat-like attributes, such as cloven feet, were no doubt due to confusion in the wine-addled minds of Dionysian cultists between kangaroos and the demons that the cultists consorted with, which manifested in goatish forms.
Furthermore, satyrs are mentioned in the prophesies of Isaiah as properly translated in the KJV, and thus we do find kangaroos in the Bible. Isaiah prophesies the destruction of Babylon, warning that it will not be inhabited, but that "satyrs shall dance there" (Isa. 13:21 -- note that "dance" here is economically translated from the Hebrew raqad, which has a fuller meaning of "to skip/spring about or to leap"). This prophesy proves that at least some kangaroo stragglers could still be found in the Middle East up to the fall of Babylon in 539 BC.
Please, somebody tell me this is not for real. Please.
***
Funny how often I've thought of religion and spirituality lately. I suppose it's only natural to do so after the death of somebody close to you. But I honestly thought that if I ever had to face the death of a family member, I would probably finally come down off my agnostic fence and realize that yes, I did believe in an afterlife or a god or something out there. And find some measure of comfort in that.
The opposite appears to be happening. After decades as a lapsed atheist, I feel myself coming back to the (non)-faith that I had in my childhood. It's rather... odd.
... aand it's way too difficult/nebulous to write about. Maybe when I've sorted things out more to my own satisfaction. Because right now it's just an unholy mush of personal mourning, reactions to other people's mourning reactions, various bits of sci-fi, culture clashes, deep-held convictions, world politics, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, children's stories, and a delicate white wine sauce.
I so devoutly hope this is some kind of joke: OBJECTIVE:Christian Ministries
(Link courtesy of
snarkhunter)Some lowlights:
The rather disturbing Baby Jesus, who follows your cursor around the screen.
"Our parents are whacked out on
Some (March 28, 2003) Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.
Later Edit: Satyrs, which many believe to have been strictly demonic in origin due to the goat like features attributed to them by Pagans, were actually a conflation of demons and kangaroos by the ignorant Pagan natives of Greece. It is easy to see that the well-known features of satyrs -- two-legged, upright stance with elongated metatarsi; hirsuteness; a tail; long, pointed, horn-like ears; long or bearded face -- closely coincide with the general kangaroo body form. The more goat-like attributes, such as cloven feet, were no doubt due to confusion in the wine-addled minds of Dionysian cultists between kangaroos and the demons that the cultists consorted with, which manifested in goatish forms.
Furthermore, satyrs are mentioned in the prophesies of Isaiah as properly translated in the KJV, and thus we do find kangaroos in the Bible. Isaiah prophesies the destruction of Babylon, warning that it will not be inhabited, but that "satyrs shall dance there" (Isa. 13:21 -- note that "dance" here is economically translated from the Hebrew raqad, which has a fuller meaning of "to skip/spring about or to leap"). This prophesy proves that at least some kangaroo stragglers could still be found in the Middle East up to the fall of Babylon in 539 BC.
Please, somebody tell me this is not for real. Please.
Funny how often I've thought of religion and spirituality lately. I suppose it's only natural to do so after the death of somebody close to you. But I honestly thought that if I ever had to face the death of a family member, I would probably finally come down off my agnostic fence and realize that yes, I did believe in an afterlife or a god or something out there. And find some measure of comfort in that.
The opposite appears to be happening. After decades as a lapsed atheist, I feel myself coming back to the (non)-faith that I had in my childhood. It's rather... odd.
... aand it's way too difficult/nebulous to write about. Maybe when I've sorted things out more to my own satisfaction. Because right now it's just an unholy mush of personal mourning, reactions to other people's mourning reactions, various bits of sci-fi, culture clashes, deep-held convictions, world politics, Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, children's stories, and a delicate white wine sauce.
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no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 07:05 pm (UTC)Dude, the lamb bleats/screams when you mouseover and then mouseoff; Jesus (who looks constipated) rasps "WHYYYY?" for the same action.
::hides and CRIES omg::
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 07:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 07:23 pm (UTC)And to think I could have gone my whole life not knowing that there were people who believed this stuff.
no subject
Date: 2004-08-10 10:13 pm (UTC)if they're not serious it's very tastelsess. if they are serious i'm afraid we have double digit iq's running a web site.
Baby Jesus
Date: 2004-08-10 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-08-11 09:37 am (UTC)However, there is at least one woman in my office who believes it. Not to mention that the whole thing about Cain marrying his sister goes over real big with a certain segment (of which there is more than they'd like to admit) of LDS types.