egghead humour

[ciroccoj]

Under the heading of Jokes Almost Nobody Will Ever Get:

1. Daniel has a new favourite joke:
   
   Three French cats (Un Cat, Deux Cat, Trois Cat) wanted to cross a river. Do you know what happened to them? (click and drag to see answers)
   Un Cat and Deux Cat made it across OK, but Trois Cat sank.
   
   
2. What was the name of the Spanish idealist who worked at the dry cleaners?
   Don Quixote de la Plancha.
   
   
3. What do you get when you cross an elephant and a tomato?
   (elephant)(tomato)sinθ
   
   
4. What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?
   Nothing. You can't cross a scalar with a vector.

1. Say it out loud. "Trois Cat sank" sounds just like "trois, quatre, cinq," French for "three, four, five." Amusingly, native French speakers don't normally get this joke - it's only funny to Anglos who also speak French.
   
   
2. Don Quixote de la Mancha, by Miguel de Cervantes (1547-1616), is the Spanish equivalent of Shakespeare; everybody reads it in school, and most hate it for its archaic language and concepts. The main character, Don Quixote, is a rather cracked out country gentleman who starts to imagine himself as an idealistic heroic knight. He's most famous for tilting at windmills because he imagined them to be hostile giants.
   
   "Plancha" = iron (for pressing clothing).
   
   Hence, Don Quixote de la Plancha.
   
   
3. Trigonometry time: A x B = ABsinθ
   
   
4. More trig time: A scalar is quantity completely specified by magnitude only (a number with appropriate units), such as time, speed, mass and temperature. A vector is a quantity that has both magnitude (a number with appropriate units) and direction, such as displacement, velocity, acceleration and force. You cannot cross multiply scalar x vector.
   
   Biology time: "Vector" is a term used broadly to refer to any animal that transmits human disease or plays an essential role in the parasite's life cycle.
   
   Mosquito = vector
   
   Mountain climber = scaler

For those who really, really, really want to know more:

Don Quijote de la Mancha Summary
S.O.S Mathematics: Trigonometry
Vectors (math)
Human Diseases and Insect Vectors

Comments

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

Well then. I have a joke for you and for the boys. Daniel's probably too smart to find this funny, but it appeals to my juvenile sense of amusement at the totally random.

What's brown and sticky?

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

(Skipping over the obvious) Nutella!

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

No. A stick!

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

::groan::

::running off to tell it to Daniel::

[bear.livejournal.com]

Oooh! Oooh! I have one!

A man had the opportunity to talk to ask God three questions.

The man asked, "God, what is time like for you?"

God said, "To me, a million years is like a second."

Then the man asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?"

God said, "To me, a million dollars is like a penny."

Finally, the man said, "Hey God, can I have a penny?"

God said, "Sure, just gimme a second."

:D

[daf9.livejournal.com]

my favorite joke -

what happened when the blue boat crashed into the red boat?
the passengers were marooned.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

::double groan::

Damn, I should've seen that one coming ;)

Ooo-ooo, I've got one!

[ninja-kat.livejournal.com]

This is one of my hubby's favourites! And he got it from his dad. To get the proper effect, you have to hear it out loud.

What do you call a fish with no "eyes".
Fssshhhh

In Julia's honour

[ninja-kat.livejournal.com]

Here's a groaner that I remember Julia telling me.

You know that animal in the zoo that's really tall and has the long neck?
::pause while the other person comes up with the animal's name::
Can you spell it?

"i" "t"

[lonejaguar.livejournal.com]

I remember telling the cat one on the playground ;) Good times.

[(Anonymous)]

I remember sharing those math jokes with my father when I was in second year calculus (not that it requires second year calculus to get them, but that's where I heard them) and he said "I always knew you'd surpass me in mathematics." It was the first clue I had that my dad's knowledge wasn't infinite. And yes, it took me long past childhood and into my twenties to do so - my dad's brilliant.