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All Work And No Play
Jul. 28th, 2004 10:33 amIt's amazing how many people think Chris and I are exaggerating when we mention residents' working hours.
( Young Doctors Working Less Hours )
( Young Doctors Working Less Hours )
Jul. 28th, 2004
Always Look On the Bright Side of Life
Jul. 28th, 2004 03:31 pmThe nice thing about bad things happening in bunches is that you can take a break from dealing with/thinking about something unpleasant by dealing with/thinking about something else that's also unpleasant, and not feel guilty about it. Because it's not like you're having a great time while the thing that must be dealt with languishes. You're still having a lousy time; it's just a different kind of lousy time.
Because I was thinking this morning that my mood has been rather cheerful since my mother's funeral. But cheerful in a very, very guilty way. In a "I can't believe mere days after my mother's passing, I'm laughing and relaxed and really rather relieved that it's over and I don't have to keep seeing her suffering and I can be out in the sunshine with the kids and holy crap I had no idea I was this &%$@ing shallow" kind of way.
I've read grief-related stuff. I know that this can happen when there's a prolonged illness. Often, much of the mourning is done before death; death itself often comes as a relief to the survivors.
But it's one thing to read that and understand it intellectually, and quite another to experience it.
So this afternoon, Justin was kicked out of Spanish Camp. And I don't want to think about it. So I'll deal with other stuff instead. Like, for example, the applications for my mother's Death Benefits (for us) and Survivor's Benefits (for Guy). And try to get past the feeling of wanting to cry that accompanies dealing with anything where there's her birth and death dates or the words "deceased" or "the late Julia Neale."
Because I was thinking this morning that my mood has been rather cheerful since my mother's funeral. But cheerful in a very, very guilty way. In a "I can't believe mere days after my mother's passing, I'm laughing and relaxed and really rather relieved that it's over and I don't have to keep seeing her suffering and I can be out in the sunshine with the kids and holy crap I had no idea I was this &%$@ing shallow" kind of way.
I've read grief-related stuff. I know that this can happen when there's a prolonged illness. Often, much of the mourning is done before death; death itself often comes as a relief to the survivors.
But it's one thing to read that and understand it intellectually, and quite another to experience it.
So this afternoon, Justin was kicked out of Spanish Camp. And I don't want to think about it. So I'll deal with other stuff instead. Like, for example, the applications for my mother's Death Benefits (for us) and Survivor's Benefits (for Guy). And try to get past the feeling of wanting to cry that accompanies dealing with anything where there's her birth and death dates or the words "deceased" or "the late Julia Neale."
