Legal Lessons Learned

Going into my last weeks of articling, here is some of what I have learned in the last year:

• Do not get sent to Court #8 on Friday.
  
  
• You could house a small family on each landing of the "secret" back stairways of the court building. I am serious. And I almost never see anyone but me and one or two other lawyers using them.
  
  
• Courtroom #1 is for Youth, #5 is Remand, #6 is bail, #7 is guilty pleas, #8 is Drug Court/Mental Health court. Unless it's Friday, in which case it's Bad Boy Court, where you have to explain why your case is not proceeding in a timely manner.
  
  
• Courtrooms are public spaces, you know. You don't need to ask permission to go in. You can go into any of them! Sit in on whatever you want! If they didn't want you in there, they would say so!
  
  
• Except for that courtroom, of course!
  
  
• How is that one different from the others? Well duh, obviously it's hearing family matters involving children.
  
  Where's the list of which courtrooms are hearing family matters involving children and thus off limits to the general public? Huh. That's a good idea. We should make one.
  
  
• Ah, Family Law. You make murder cases look positively chipper.
  
  
• Must find out if there are defence lawyers who take only guilty parties. Consider setting up a site called yesididit.com.
  
  
• Long unstyled hair dates you. I will do something about that. ::sigh::
  
  
• As a female lawyer, heels that are less than four inches high also date you. I... don't care.
  
  
• Crowns are not nearly as snappy dressers as defence lawyers.
  
  
• "Black", "Muslim" and "Somalian" are three separate ethnic groups, and nobody has any trouble differentiating between them when describing persons involved in an occurence during a mixed-ethnicity party. This despite the fact that Somalians are (in general) black Muslims.
  
  
• Transcripts of teenage witnesses are distressing to read. Not necessarily for their content, but for the high ratio of "like" to all other words.
  
  
• Also "whatever".
  
  
• My inner linguist feels intimidated every time a francophone accused comes up and the entire court - defense, Crown, judge/JP, clerks & cops - all switch seemingly effortlessly to accentless French.
  
  
• When explaining to a judge that your husband is different when he drinks, "He thinks he's invincible" is not the same as "he thinks he's invisible." The judge was right to look alarmed. He thought your husband was psychotic.
  
  
• When searching for a client you have not yet met among the scores at Remand Court, "He's tall and gay" is in fact not a good enough description.

Note: standard confidentiality disclaimer applies here, and any clients referred to are not our own.