Why must we always apologize in advance for our well-written, educated opinions possibly pissing people off? That makes it sound like we are ashamed of having that opinion, and I know you aren't, Jim. So don't apologize.
So I will now say, I'm sorry if anyone reading this believes that my about-to-be-stated opinion is offensive to them, because I'm not setting out to offend, but if you are offended, then too bad for you. Hopefully my opinion will open a crack in that closed mind of yours.
I never thought I'd be a parent; I just never felt like I'd finished growing up myself. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just couldn't fathom the responsibility, and never bothered imagining I'd ever be financially ready, much less emotionally so. Then I slowly realized that I could wait forever and never feel ready, that I finally did have the secure job, the savings, the (mortgaged) big enough house and the supportive husband. The right frame of mind wasn't something I'd just switch on one day, it was something I'd developed so slowly I didn't notice. It would be a wonderful world if every entry into parenthood was this well-prepared. I have new and profound respect for all the people who become parents without being so ready. Of course, I also have new and profound respect for all the parents who have twins. To think I once thought that would be nice, to get both desired kids out of the way in one pregnancy. Hoo boy.
Anyways, every person is probably generally aware of if they'd make a good parent or not. It's an equally responsible thing for those who believe it wouldn't suit them, to not have children. What I don't understand is why it's so difficult for each side to respect the choice of the other?
It would be a very nice thing if society were more supportive of children and parenting. That village to raise a child thing is true, and the whole village benefits, even the ones who never have kids. Motherhood isn’t supposed to be a lonely isolated thing; we evolved to be surrounded by our family and friends to help out and it’s only in the last century that we’ve been so drained going against evolution. I’d love to see a completely subsidized day care attached to every workplace, and in every neighbourhood, to segue children from infancy to school age so parents could balance child-rearing and earning money the way that worked best for them. I felt that way before becoming a parent because even though my taxes would be paying for it, same as with education, because this is the system that paid for ME when I was a child. Even childfree people can’t argue with not paying education taxes when they don’t have children, it’s like paying back what you got 25 years ago.
I could comment more, but I'd mostly be echoing Jim, and I don't have that kind of time!
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2005-02-19 05:04 pm (UTC)So I will now say, I'm sorry if anyone reading this believes that my about-to-be-stated opinion is offensive to them, because I'm not setting out to offend, but if you are offended, then too bad for you. Hopefully my opinion will open a crack in that closed mind of yours.
I never thought I'd be a parent; I just never felt like I'd finished growing up myself. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I just couldn't fathom the responsibility, and never bothered imagining I'd ever be financially ready, much less emotionally so. Then I slowly realized that I could wait forever and never feel ready, that I finally did have the secure job, the savings, the (mortgaged) big enough house and the supportive husband. The right frame of mind wasn't something I'd just switch on one day, it was something I'd developed so slowly I didn't notice. It would be a wonderful world if every entry into parenthood was this well-prepared. I have new and profound respect for all the people who become parents without being so ready. Of course, I also have new and profound respect for all the parents who have twins. To think I once thought that would be nice, to get both desired kids out of the way in one pregnancy. Hoo boy.
Anyways, every person is probably generally aware of if they'd make a good parent or not. It's an equally responsible thing for those who believe it wouldn't suit them, to not have children. What I don't understand is why it's so difficult for each side to respect the choice of the other?
It would be a very nice thing if society were more supportive of children and parenting. That village to raise a child thing is true, and the whole village benefits, even the ones who never have kids. Motherhood isn’t supposed to be a lonely isolated thing; we evolved to be surrounded by our family and friends to help out and it’s only in the last century that we’ve been so drained going against evolution. I’d love to see a completely subsidized day care attached to every workplace, and in every neighbourhood, to segue children from infancy to school age so parents could balance child-rearing and earning money the way that worked best for them. I felt that way before becoming a parent because even though my taxes would be paying for it, same as with education, because this is the system that paid for ME when I was a child. Even childfree people can’t argue with not paying education taxes when they don’t have children, it’s like paying back what you got 25 years ago.
I could comment more, but I'd mostly be echoing Jim, and I don't have that kind of time!
Alison (http://wibberley.blogspot.com//)