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ciroccojHere's something that I unearthed from my e-attic the other day, much to my delight:
(Author's Note: This piece was written for performance and premiered at the second National Black Arts festival in August of 1990 as part of the series "Just Us Theatre Presents Live at Club Zebra!" The piece was staged with video by Zaron W. Burnett, Jr.)
I spent a lot of time talking to my sisters, and in between raising our children and earning our living and struggling for our freedom and loving our womenfriends and building a new world, we sometimes - every now and then - talk about the brothers.
Invariably the discussion moves from vivid descriptions of the various ways in which a brother constitutes "a good brother" to wistful expressions of disbelief at the unrelenting shortage in this area, to a resigned sigh and the unspoken question of why there seem to be so many more good sisters than there are good brothers.
Now I will admit that these are complex questions to consider, but how can we arrive at the correct position on the issues of the day without confronting them? Is Marian Barry, for example, a "good brother" with a few personal problems, under siege from the forces of racism and evil, or a physically abusive womanhater who regularly lied to his wife, manipulated his female employees and acquaintances, and backhanded his lover so hard he knocked her down before she had ever even met any FBI agents?
See what I mean about the complexity of the questions? But I'm optimistic. I believe we can work it out. I believe we have to and that time is getting very short...
So, as part of the move toward clarity, I offer the following Report from the Front Lines as part of my continuing, long term examination of whatever it is that is going on between black men and black women.
My latest research indicates that part of the problem is that most brothers don't have any clear idea of the strong possibility that it is their confusion, not their ill will, that made the gulf so wide between us and them.
Perhaps the problem is that we haven't given them a current, updated, cross-referenced definition to work with. Maybe they are just sort of marking time, following their own black, male instincts, until we reach consensus and begin to spread the good word.
And maybe, in this terrible vacuum of values and standards they are simply following the lead of their white male counterparts, a thuggish group of violent, homophobic, womanhating, ne'er do wells, with their dedication to racism and their continuing quest to control as much as they can get their greedy, warmongering hands on.
Assuming this is the case -- and I know this comes under the category of giving the brothers the benefit of the doubt, but we have almost nothing left to lose and everything to gain -- so assuming this is the case, I think it is time we put forward a working definition of who and what we are looking for in a righteous brother. A real righteous brother. Not one of those singing white guys who made the loss of love sound so intensely intense that you had to fall in love every time the record came on.
We are looking for a real righteous brother. An all grown up, ain't scared of nothin', and knows it's time to save the race righteous brother.
A good father/good husband/good lover/good worker/serious revolutionary righteous brother.
A tuck the baby in at night and accept equal responsibility for child raising and household maintenance chores righteous brother.
A generate a regular paycheck or provide evidence of mutually agreed upon, full-time alternative service to the race or to the family, such as playing a saxophone or writing novels, or providing community defence, or and education righteous brother.
A read a book and play a tune and dance your slow dance sweet and low down righteous brother.
A love black women, protect black children and never hit a woman righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let's talk instead righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let's make love instead righteous brother.
A stay at home cause that's where you wanna be righteous brother.
A brother who can listen.
A brother who can teach.
A brother who can change. For the better.
A brother who can move. Toward the centre of the earth.
A brother who is not intimidated or confused by the power and the magic of women.
We are looking for a righteous brother. What we used to call a good brother.
A brother who loves his people.
A brother who doesn't hit or holler or shoot or stab or grab or shove or kick or shake or slap or punch women or children.
A brother who doesn't call women hoes, bitches, shanks, pussies, dykes, sluts, cunts, etc. etc. etc.
A brother who uses condoms without being asked.
A brother who doesn't call sex screwing.
A brother who knows that time and tenderness are more important than size and speed and that reciprocity is everything.
A brother who knows that permission must be gained at every step before proceeding.
A brother who doesn't describe the details of intimate heterosexual encounter by saying, "Man, I knocked the bottom out of it". Or: "I fucked her brains out". Or: "I drew blood from that bitch."
A brother who says: "I made her feel good. I showed her how much I love and cherish her"
A brother who says: "I rubbed oil on her."
A brother who says: "I kissed every part of her I could kiss."
A brother who says: "I made her feel so safe and happy and free that she fell asleep in my arms, and her heart beat sounded like the ocean after a storm..."
We are looking for a real good brother.
We are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
Now I know the whole boat question is a Serious Manhood Thing, and I know how dangerous it can be to offer an opinion about any topic that falls within their sacred circle, but I'll risk it for the sake of clarification. We can't afford to have any further confusion on these questions of what does and does not constitute manhood. Not from our side anyway.
In doing the necessary research to put forward our working definition of a good brother, it came to my attention that some brothers feel that we, their sisters, are giving mixed signals when it comes to the manhood thing. We want, they say, all the protection and safety offered by a strong man, but we are unwilling to accept the presence of the warrior's heart.
We, they say, are responsible for any confusion that exists on the manhood question; we are the ones, they say, that counsel caution instead of courage; diplomacy instead of defence.
They say that when the ships pulled up on the shores of Africa and the slavers came ashore to look for us, that we were the ones who held them back; the ones who told them that it might be dangerous to go down the water's edge.
We were the ones, they say, who encouraged them to stay at home, telling them how worried we would be if they went down there with the other warriors to turn the ships around. Assuring them that if they just sat here by the fire with us, the white folks would probably change their minds and go away all by themselves. They say that's the reason why they didn't turn the ships around. Because they thought we didn't want them to.
Assuming this is a correct presentation of herstorical fact (and I am unconvinced) it is clearly one of the greatest examples of miscommunication in all of human herstory and one we should avoid repeating at all costs.
So let it be known that we are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
A brother who will go into the crack houses and turn the ships around
A brother who will go to the places where it is open season on our children and turn the ships around
A brother who will hear the screams of sisters beaten to death by the men who say they love them and turn the ships around
A brother who will hear the whimper of our babies born with AIDS and turn the ships around
A brother who will remember how freedom feels and turn the ships around
A brother who will gather with the warriors and march down to the edge of the sea and turn the ships around/turn the ships around/turn the ships around/and this time, turn the ships around...
(Author's Note: This piece was written for performance and premiered at the second National Black Arts festival in August of 1990 as part of the series "Just Us Theatre Presents Live at Club Zebra!" The piece was staged with video by Zaron W. Burnett, Jr.)
I spent a lot of time talking to my sisters, and in between raising our children and earning our living and struggling for our freedom and loving our womenfriends and building a new world, we sometimes - every now and then - talk about the brothers.
Invariably the discussion moves from vivid descriptions of the various ways in which a brother constitutes "a good brother" to wistful expressions of disbelief at the unrelenting shortage in this area, to a resigned sigh and the unspoken question of why there seem to be so many more good sisters than there are good brothers.
Now I will admit that these are complex questions to consider, but how can we arrive at the correct position on the issues of the day without confronting them? Is Marian Barry, for example, a "good brother" with a few personal problems, under siege from the forces of racism and evil, or a physically abusive womanhater who regularly lied to his wife, manipulated his female employees and acquaintances, and backhanded his lover so hard he knocked her down before she had ever even met any FBI agents?
See what I mean about the complexity of the questions? But I'm optimistic. I believe we can work it out. I believe we have to and that time is getting very short...
So, as part of the move toward clarity, I offer the following Report from the Front Lines as part of my continuing, long term examination of whatever it is that is going on between black men and black women.
My latest research indicates that part of the problem is that most brothers don't have any clear idea of the strong possibility that it is their confusion, not their ill will, that made the gulf so wide between us and them.
Perhaps the problem is that we haven't given them a current, updated, cross-referenced definition to work with. Maybe they are just sort of marking time, following their own black, male instincts, until we reach consensus and begin to spread the good word.
And maybe, in this terrible vacuum of values and standards they are simply following the lead of their white male counterparts, a thuggish group of violent, homophobic, womanhating, ne'er do wells, with their dedication to racism and their continuing quest to control as much as they can get their greedy, warmongering hands on.
Assuming this is the case -- and I know this comes under the category of giving the brothers the benefit of the doubt, but we have almost nothing left to lose and everything to gain -- so assuming this is the case, I think it is time we put forward a working definition of who and what we are looking for in a righteous brother. A real righteous brother. Not one of those singing white guys who made the loss of love sound so intensely intense that you had to fall in love every time the record came on.
We are looking for a real righteous brother. An all grown up, ain't scared of nothin', and knows it's time to save the race righteous brother.
A good father/good husband/good lover/good worker/serious revolutionary righteous brother.
A tuck the baby in at night and accept equal responsibility for child raising and household maintenance chores righteous brother.
A generate a regular paycheck or provide evidence of mutually agreed upon, full-time alternative service to the race or to the family, such as playing a saxophone or writing novels, or providing community defence, or and education righteous brother.
A read a book and play a tune and dance your slow dance sweet and low down righteous brother.
A love black women, protect black children and never hit a woman righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let's talk instead righteous brother.
A turn the TV off and let's make love instead righteous brother.
A stay at home cause that's where you wanna be righteous brother.
A brother who can listen.
A brother who can teach.
A brother who can change. For the better.
A brother who can move. Toward the centre of the earth.
A brother who is not intimidated or confused by the power and the magic of women.
We are looking for a righteous brother. What we used to call a good brother.
A brother who loves his people.
A brother who doesn't hit or holler or shoot or stab or grab or shove or kick or shake or slap or punch women or children.
A brother who doesn't call women hoes, bitches, shanks, pussies, dykes, sluts, cunts, etc. etc. etc.
A brother who uses condoms without being asked.
A brother who doesn't call sex screwing.
A brother who knows that time and tenderness are more important than size and speed and that reciprocity is everything.
A brother who knows that permission must be gained at every step before proceeding.
A brother who doesn't describe the details of intimate heterosexual encounter by saying, "Man, I knocked the bottom out of it". Or: "I fucked her brains out". Or: "I drew blood from that bitch."
A brother who says: "I made her feel good. I showed her how much I love and cherish her"
A brother who says: "I rubbed oil on her."
A brother who says: "I kissed every part of her I could kiss."
A brother who says: "I made her feel so safe and happy and free that she fell asleep in my arms, and her heart beat sounded like the ocean after a storm..."
We are looking for a real good brother.
We are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
Now I know the whole boat question is a Serious Manhood Thing, and I know how dangerous it can be to offer an opinion about any topic that falls within their sacred circle, but I'll risk it for the sake of clarification. We can't afford to have any further confusion on these questions of what does and does not constitute manhood. Not from our side anyway.
In doing the necessary research to put forward our working definition of a good brother, it came to my attention that some brothers feel that we, their sisters, are giving mixed signals when it comes to the manhood thing. We want, they say, all the protection and safety offered by a strong man, but we are unwilling to accept the presence of the warrior's heart.
We, they say, are responsible for any confusion that exists on the manhood question; we are the ones, they say, that counsel caution instead of courage; diplomacy instead of defence.
They say that when the ships pulled up on the shores of Africa and the slavers came ashore to look for us, that we were the ones who held them back; the ones who told them that it might be dangerous to go down the water's edge.
We were the ones, they say, who encouraged them to stay at home, telling them how worried we would be if they went down there with the other warriors to turn the ships around. Assuring them that if they just sat here by the fire with us, the white folks would probably change their minds and go away all by themselves. They say that's the reason why they didn't turn the ships around. Because they thought we didn't want them to.
Assuming this is a correct presentation of herstorical fact (and I am unconvinced) it is clearly one of the greatest examples of miscommunication in all of human herstory and one we should avoid repeating at all costs.
So let it be known that we are looking for a brother who will turn the ships around.
A brother who will go into the crack houses and turn the ships around
A brother who will go to the places where it is open season on our children and turn the ships around
A brother who will hear the screams of sisters beaten to death by the men who say they love them and turn the ships around
A brother who will hear the whimper of our babies born with AIDS and turn the ships around
A brother who will remember how freedom feels and turn the ships around
A brother who will gather with the warriors and march down to the edge of the sea and turn the ships around/turn the ships around/turn the ships around/and this time, turn the ships around...
