clarification

[ciroccoj]

Re. my previous post re. "the fascination with reading/writing fics where gloriously unattractive people have explicit sex":

Many of you asked for clarification. medee6040 asked, "I mean, even allowing for taste?"

Yeah. I realize that there are many characters who gross me out that are actually quite attractive to others, and vice versa. AD Walter Skinner and Captain Picard may not be your cup of tea if you're not into bald, but you have to admit they exude a certain manly, authoritative charm, even if you're immune to it. Likewise, you may find Serena Southerlyn vapid or annoying, but there's fine bone structure and attractive colouring and... ::double-checks bast2's fics:: gorgeous hair and all that. Nora Lewin ::choke:: may churn my stomach, but Dianne Wiest is actually attractive in her own special way, to her own special fans. I may not get it, but I understand it.

But I'm talking people whom nobody could possibly find attractive. Cancerman or Frohicke, on the X-Files. Snape, from Harry Potter (and yes, Alan Rickman is attractive, but seriously - Snape? Greasy hair, sallow complexion, Snape? Please). Arthur Branch, from L&O. John Munch, same.

And the fics that I'm thinking of don't even try to make them sound attractive, either. The few I've been brave enough to skim don't turn gawky into "slender" or pudgy into "plump." They use adjectives like skeletal, gangly, pear-shaped, flabby, greasy, sickly, malodorous... which is probably why I only skimmed about three of them.

There are people who live for this stuff. The X-Files fandom had an entire site devoted to Cancerman slash. No, I never went there, but the mere fact that it existed blew my mind. Still does, frankly.

BTW, what triggered this was crack_van rec for a femslash fic featuring Minerva McGonagall/Rita Skeeter, from Harry Potter. No, I didn't read it. Just boggled, and posted a plea for understanding. Because I really, really, really don't get it.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

Comments

[jennifus.livejournal.com]

Munch? The mere fact that the man has such a charmingly cynical/funny personality makes him fuckable.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

The mere fact that the man has such a charmingly cynical/funny personality makes him fuckable.

Hee. It's just... him getting lucky? Sure, no problem. Not on my dime, though - I'd rather read "Munch walked into the squadroom the next morning with a saucy grin and a got-lucky saunter", than get a play-by-play of the night before ;)

[jenniferjames.livejournal.com]

They use adjectives like skeletal, gangly, pear-shaped, flabby, greasy, sickly, malodorous...

Hmmm... perhaps this falls under the "crack heads need love too" category?

*shrugs*

*sneezes*

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

perhaps this falls under the "crack heads need love too" category?
LOL!

Yeah, maybe :)

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

*sneezes*
::passes you a tissue::

::and some Neo-citran::

Well...

[culturevulture7.livejournal.com]

...We actually did a panel on this at MediaWest two years ago, jessebee and I. Called it "Still the Prettiest"--except we went at it from the other direction, as in why are all the "pretty" boys put together, regardless of whether there is an iota of attraction. Like someone over at TWoP suggesting Rey/Mike. Or, say, Mulder and Krycek? Before Mulder knows Alex is bad, I could see. But after Mulder knows he works for Cancerman? After Krycek killed his dad? Nope.

And I write slash with Lennie so I'm biased ;-) And Munch and Finn to me are way more a believable couple on SVU than Alex and Olivia (sorry, O/A shippers!)

But somewhere out there is a Cancerman/Mulder/Scully story. No, really. And there's also a whole bunch of Mulder/Scully/Krycek stories where Scully is into being submissive and...y'know, you just don't want to know more.

Of course, we all draw the line somewhere. Like I don't want to read Hogan's Heroes slash (and it's out there). Or McGarrett from Hawaii 5-0 and ANYONE.

Re: Well...

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Like someone over at TWoP suggesting Rey/Mike.
::swallows tongue - and not in a good way, either::

Oh, please don't mention that particular pairing; always makes me think of a particular fic so hideous that I considered therapy to rid myself of the mental images. ::shudder::

Or, say, Mulder and Krycek?
Oh I know!! That one BAFFLES me!! Yes, both very pretty. Yes, both seriously screwed up. But... together?! They're screwed up, not barking-at-trees insane!

And I write slash with Lennie so I'm biased ;-)
Lennie, I can see. I personally don't find him attractive (probably because he reminds me of my father), but can certainly see why other people do. So no, I don't read explicit Lennie (slash or het) but have no problem with it in theory.

Cancerman/Mulder/Scully story
::swallows tongue again::

y'know, you just don't want to know more.
Um, no. Let's just stop the train here, 'K?

Re: Well...

[bear.livejournal.com]

They're screwed up, not barking-at-trees insane!

Oh, but they could be. I don't get the Fox'n'Alex TWU WUV OMG!!!1! at all, but some angry, up-against-the-wall sex? HELL yeah.

Honestly, if XF was something I was reading these days, I would be all over Krycek. He's a fucked-up traitorous asshole *and* he's pretty, and damned if that doesn't make him interesting to read. (See also: bizarre fixation on fanon!Draco Malfoy)

Re: Well...

[culturevulture7.livejournal.com]

Like someone over at TWoP suggesting Rey/Mike.
::swallows tongue - and not in a good way, either::

Oh, please don't mention that particular pairing; always makes me think of a particular fic so hideous that I considered therapy to rid myself of the mental images. ::shudder::


Do you have a link? The folks over at TWoP in our new Law & Order Franchise area, the SVU folks, have a thread: The Good, the Bad, The Brainscoringly awful: Fanfic. Which is so so true.

[bear.livejournal.com]

The sexy!Snape love, I don't get. I mean, he's a really, really interesting character, and I love it when he's in fics. But nekkid? Ewwww. Circe rec'ced a story yesterday that she described as "not your typical Snape is a virgin fic," and my mind recoiled at the notion that there are *enough* virgin!Snape fics out there that there are "typical" ones.

PS I think Frohike is kinda cute. In a trollish sort of way.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

I mean, he's a really, really interesting character, and I love it when he's in fics.
Yeah, the only HP fic I've ever rec'd (one of three I've ever read... well... five, after last night) had Snape in it. He is fascinating. But the fact that he was polka-dotted and snarky and very very ill was a big part of the charm of the fic, to me. Nekkid!Snape is just not to be contemplated.

my mind recoiled at the notion that there are *enough* virgin!Snape fics
::sound of my mind exploding::

PS I think Frohike is kinda cute
::no reaction, random bits of brain still splutting down from explosion above - like the exploding whale, actually::

[bear.livejournal.com]

Aw, your poor brain. I put it through so much.

*pets*