(no subject)

[ciroccoj]

Spitting mad. I have no idea how the FUCK Chris and I survived years of having this happen every other day.

I have an exam tomorrow. Constitutional. It's a required course, and my exam is worth 100%. So how nice it was to hear yesterday that Chris had a meeting that was supposed to take place around noon today, but had been moved to 4:30 without his knowledge or consent because why on earth should he be told anything as minor as "you may be leaving work two hours late tomorrow"?

It's 7:00. He's leaving work NOW. Wife? What wife? Kids? What kids? Exam? What exam? Who cares? He's a doctor!! Whatever he's doing MUST be 1000% more important than anything anybody else could possibly need to do. Like, oh I don't know, STUDY.

Comments

[officerjudy.livejournal.com]

I'm putting this post in the "Stop feeling bad that you don't have a partner, 'cause it isn't always a bed of roses" memories.

If I was closer, I'd offer to babysit so you could study. And I don't like kids.

Deep breathing

[(Anonymous)]

Calming blue waters....calming blue waters...calming blue waters

Sarah

[my-cat-tim.livejournal.com]

Have you ever thought of simply packing up the kids and depositing them with Chris at work and then heading off to library? At least that way he learns to take his family responsiblilties seriously because he will have them whether he chooses to or not. I do recall law school exam time and it is a crunch.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

packing up the kids and depositing them with Chris at work and then heading off to library?
That would be a little difficult; he's with patients who would not appreciate all of a sudden having their doctor have a couple of kids get dumped on his lap.

He's also got supervisors who might possibly give him very unfavourable reviews at the end of his rotation. Residents aren't really supposed to have families, I don't think. Or if they do, they need to make 100% sure that their families in no way interfere with their ability to give 100% to their job, 24/7. That's the medical mentality, anyway.

And the scary thing is, psychiatry is just about the most humane and understanding and family-friendly discipline there is in medicine.

[my-cat-tim.livejournal.com]

But that is the whole point though isn't it? Chris would understand what it is to be a parent when he is in with a session with a patient and his kids show up. Right now you are second fiddle. His job must be protected at all costs and you get whatever time is left over. If you brought the kids to his work, dropped them off then headed to the library I think the chances are really great next time that he will take his respsonsibilies seriously and never leave you in the lurch again. He will also understand that child care is as much his problem as it is yours and he will take better care to cover his bases. I hope you do well on the exam though.

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, I have to admit that I have no idea what I'm talking about, but give Chris the benefit of the doubt! I get the impression it's his WORKPLACE not him dictating these hours, and he was probably just as annoyed as Jim but not given much choice in the matter. So, the solution is...Jim should dump the boys off on Chris' boss!

Good luck Jim!

Alison (http://wibberley.blogspot.com//)

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

I get the impression it's his WORKPLACE not him dictating these hours,
Yeah, pretty much. He's a resident; they're supposed to have no life outside of work and if they do, that's their problem.

I believe the Surgical Residency program at Western was once chided for going a little too far along this path; in about 20 years, not one resident who started the program married was still married by the end. And the staff started to suggest to new married residents that they should get with a divorce lawyer ASAP; 'real,' dedicated, surgeons had nothing on the side to 'distract' them, and if they wanted to be considered real surgeons...

So, the solution is...Jim should dump the boys off on Chris' boss!
Hee :)

Good luck Jim!
Thanks :)

[ninja-kat.livejournal.com]

Umm...I'm pretty sure Chris definitely understands what it is to be a parent...I don't think that's the issue...I think having crap employers/supervisors is the issue _They're_ the ones that don't understand what it is to be a parent, or to have a life.

On the other side of this coin

[animaltalker.livejournal.com]

betcha Jim is the kind of student who doesn't REALLY need the last minute studying because she's been doing the studying all along and is not relying solely on the last minute cram sessions that some students depend on for every class (and which this professor will tell don't hack it or lots of courses).

[my-cat-tim.livejournal.com]

Hi Jim and Others!

I seemed to have mis-understood Chris's position, I did not read Jim's post properly. I took Jim to mean that Chris's work meeting had been re-scheduled, and Chris did nothing to try and help Jim find alternitive arrangements for the children. I did not realize the meeting was sprung on him so quickly. My aplogies to both Jim and Chris.

One thing you may want to consider, Jim is to hire a sitter to work several days during the exam period whether the sitter will be needed or not. If Chris is available the sitter could help Chris with the kids. If Chris is called away suddenly, your bases are covered.

One of the unfair things about law school, is not only that an exam can be worth 100% of the mark, but law is the rare field where employers want to see your academic recrods even if you have been working as a lawyer for as long as ten years. It really is important to keep your grades high.

I hope I did not come across too strongly, I really did feel badly for you, and I know how hard it must be to be a wife, a mother AND a law student. If I was doing all that I would not be able to remember my name!

Take Care

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

My aplogies to both Jim and Chris.
'sokay :)

Jim is to hire a sitter to work several days during the exam period
Yeah, that's a really good idea. It's somewhat pricey, but certainly worth it for the peace of mind if nothing else. When I posted I had just gotten off the phone with Chris and then with our regular babysitter, who was OK with taking the kids at the last minute. So the situation wasn't desperate, but I was still steamed.

I so often feel like no precaution is enough. I've had times where I budgeted my time wisely and had backups and prepared for emergencies - and then get hit with one thing after another and left in the lurch. Like when I've hired a babysitter and am almost done a paper to present in class and all I need to do is drop the kids off and then go to school and relax before my presentation... and the kids get sick, the babysitter has other kids she was looking after whose parents don't want them exposed to whatever mine have, my other babysitter is away, Chris gets called in at the last minute, and presto voila, emergency.

Grrr.

I hope I did not come across too strongly, I really did feel badly for you
Yeah that last part came through just fine, and I appreciate the sentiment :)