links links links links, links links links links, linkety liiiinks, linkety links

[ciroccoj]

(sing abover to the tune of Monty Python's 'Spam Spam Spam Spam'.)

Because I have no originality, here be links!

New 'mommy wars': a fight against pop culture's excess

Excerpts: What's really happening with American mothers of all stripes ... is worry about popular culture, and what feels like a tsunami of forces threatening parents' ability to impart positive values to their children, according to a new survey of more than 2,000 mothers. Moms report a cultural onslaught that goes far beyond Hollywood movies and TV, and into the world of the Internet, electronic games, and advertising.

"We heard mothers talking about the kind of hypersexuality that's out there, about violence and disrespect, about body image..."

...

A mom can protect her children at home, but it's hard once they venture into the world, to go to school or visit a friend's house, says Ms. Waller.


Boy, am I ever there. Sometimes it feels like trying to hold back the sea with a cubicle partition. For me, it's actually one of the big reasons I want to homeschool my kids. Because home schooling parents tend to be a little more conscientious about limiting TV and computer/internet time, and setting some kind of limit on what's on TV or the computer. When Daniel is around home schooled friends, they tend to play outside or play pretend or build with lego or whatever. When he goes to his public school friends' houses, they watch TV or play on the computer. Exclusively violent games. His public school friends have been playing shoot'em up games for years - blood, guts, cannons, blasters, etc etc, and nobody seems to think this is a problem. Daniel's feeling more and more left out these days. In one internet game, his characters are only up to level 2, while his friends are up to level 8-10, because they get so much more uncontrolled internet time than he does. Only one of his regular school friends gets a limit: half an hour on the computer, then it turns itself off.

Link to article: http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20050506/ts_csm/amoms

***
From linealyn: queennell's Scantily Clad Beneath The Clear Night Sky - A Brief Brief History of Time
Newton: Haaaaaang on a minute. If I’ve got gravity holding shit together, I don’t need Aristotle’s crystal balls. This means that the stars might be, like, really far away. And, like, go on for ever.

Newton’s flatmate: WTF d00d, stay off the wild mushrooms!

Newton: But, right, if they go on forever, then my shiny gravity means that the Universe will collapse under its own weight.

Newton’s flatmate: Seriously, Isaac, no more opium on your cornflakes.

***
Study: Meanness in Girls Can Start at 3

You don't say. And this is news because... ?

Comments

[jessebee.livejournal.com]

::reads the re-write of Newton's discovery and falls over laughing::

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::reads Newton's whole gravity bit, and snickers sleepily and rudely::

Heh.

Two Sides To Sheltering

[woffproff.livejournal.com]

I can say from personal experience that the best way to raise a child totally sheltered from the evils of pop culture is to live in the country. (And yes, I realize that's not really feasible for most people!) I grew up in a house that was at least 5 miles away from any possible playmates, and my folks drove me into school so I had no experience riding buses. I only heard the music they wanted me to listen to, and any TV I watched was what they were also watching. Of course, things were a lot easier because we had no computers, and only two channels on the TV! But the big thing was I had no real socialization with other children outside of school hours. In the summer, a week or more could pass without me seeing another child's face. I think I had maybe 2 or 3 overnight visits with a pal before high school, and attended maybe 2 birthday parties my entire childhood. That far out, country kids just didn't get invited to things and my folks had never heard of the term 'play dates.'

I was in 6th grade before I heard of rock'n roll. I was in 9th grade before I really knew what sex was, and then I still didn't understand the mechanics. I think I was in 10th grade before I heard the "f" word and thoroughly humilitaed myself by asking a group of seniors what it meant.

I guess what I'm saying is that while I understand and respect the urge to protect kids from culture, I also think there's a point where maybe parents worry too much. We all have to live in culture, sink or swim in it. I think if parents do a good job of instilling values at home (rather than just teaching a lot of 'thou shalt not' rules), and especially of practicing what they preach, then a kid is going to remember that. It's like with my college kids, the ones whose parents have been good guides to them, they don't have the kind of problems the kids do whose parents were overly strict and religious. Those kids will either be the prudes or they'll so rebel on the other end that they become the ones with alchol and drug problems.

I know my folks did the best they could with me, and they certainly weren't trying to screw me up. But the way I was raised has definitely led to social problems later in life. At 41, I'm still not comfortable with my peers and don't fit in well. So I guess what I'm saying is there's a happy medium somewhere and you parental types have a really hard job, I know.

Re: Two Sides To Sheltering

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, good points all. For us, it's not that we're trying to keep all hints of pop culture away from them... it's just that we want to shelter them a bit.

We all have to live in culture, sink or swim in it.
Very true. I don't want my kids to be so clued out they have no idea how the 'real' world works. But I once read an analogy about sheltering that really struck home. This person said you had to think of kids as garden plants. Your goal is to eventually be able to plant them outside and have them weather whatever comes. But for many, you can't just put them into the garden and walk away from them. You need to plant them inside, shelter them (at first) from rampaging house pets and children by putting a cover over them, then leaving the cover off once the seedlings are big enough, eventually plant them outside with maybe a covering initially, then, when they're strong enough, take the cover off and leave them alone.

My kids are at the "plant them in the garden with a cover" stage. I want them to be around other kids whose parents also think of their kids that way. I'm not comfortable having them visit friends whose parents think nothing of getting their 6-year olds games with names like "Smash Pete Dead," and letting them spend days in front of a monitor playing them.

A few visits, sure. I don't think Daniel's psyche will be irreparably harmed by playing that game. Every other day, for hours? Um, no.

So I guess what I'm saying is there's a happy medium somewhere
I sure hope so - and I hope I can find it :)

[jessebee.livejournal.com]

the ones whose parents have been good guides to them, they don't have the kind of problems the kids do whose parents were overly strict and religious. Those kids will either be the prudes or they'll so rebel on the other end that they become the ones with alchol and drug problems.

Where I grew up, we always said you could tell the preachers' kids a mile away: they were the wildest ones in town. Interesting....

[woffproff.livejournal.com]

I'll vouch for that! The wildest girl in school was a preacher's kid.