of boys and fic and bones and kings and fic again

[ciroccoj]

Need to find stuff to do with Justin in the afternoon. Because we're alone for three hours before Daniel comes home, and there's really only so much reading I can do.

I think I'll plan walks and stuff. Otherwise I end up drifting to the computer room and the afternoon kinda drags. Part of the problem is that we have painters coming in to do estimates on the house, so we can't just take off for a walk in the forest. Rather confining, that.

***
Innerezding stuff re. explicit sex scenes in fic, both reading and writing. I particularly giggled at the "if I start laughing in the middle of a sex scene that isn't supposed to be funny" part, as I'm sure all of us have done so at one point or another.

To me, another sure sign that a sex scene has gone awry is the reader tilting their head to the side, getting a faraway look in their eyes and moving their hands around vaguely as though trying to figure out exactly what is going on. "Um... well if he's got his... and her left... um, and then he's over on top of her right- wait a minute. ::pause:: No, hang on, he's got his-"

I'm with y'all on the Euphemism Squick too. My personal fave is "moist inviting well." Mostly because it makes me think of a well. With a pail, on a rope. You know, Laura Ingalls and all that. Not hot at all.

Oh, and the gratuitous spillage of body fluids? Nothing against bodily fluids, we're all here because of them, and they're all part of the joyful glorious yadda yadda, but they are not nectar, ambrosia, love-potion, etc etc. As SITC's Miranda once said, "It's not quite a trip to Baskin Robbins". Anything that rhapsodizes over them a lot is just a little weird, IMHO.

Does anybody remember reading CiCi's Top Ten Squicks of Slash/Het? I believe it was CiCi, anyway (X-Files writer). I wish I had them somewhere.

Here's all I remember of them, sadly:
1. Excessive Realism, AKA Picking Wiry Pubic Hair From Between Your Teeth:
I'm married, OK? I read this stuff for escape.
2. Excessive use of the word 'musky':
Ask yourself: is this really a good smell?
3. Unrealistically Fantastic Sex:
Six orgasms in a row is enough for Scully. The little trollop.

***
The boys decided they really, really like the song "Dry Bones" when we tap body parts as the song goes up and down the body. I decided that I'm really glad I finally looked up the story of Ezekiel in the Bible, because it's bugged me to no end to not know what the song referred to.

***
Speaking of the Bible, who can

1. Name the Three Kings
   
2. Name the gifts they brought to Jesus
   
3. Name where the Kings came from
   
4. Identify which King is which (ie, the names of the Old Guy, the Black Guy, and the Other Guy)
   
5. Identify which King brought which gift?

***
Today's fic quotes:

Lovely talking to you, Granger, let’s not do it again and keep the memory pure, hmm?

and

There's nothing like a good sycophant for the self-esteem. Everyone likes unadulterated worship, right?

Comments

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

None of this is in the Bible! Except the gifts.

a. Kaspar, Melchior, Balthasar.
b. Frankincense, Gold, Myrrh
c. All of them came from "the East," and were probably Zoroastrian astrologers, so they were probably from Persia or India or other parts of the Near/South East. Maybe as far away as China, but I don't *think* that's right.
d. Black Guy: Kaspar. Old Guy: Balthasar. Other Guy: Melchior.
e. This one's tough, but I *think* it goes Balthasar/Gold, Melchior/Myrrh, Kaspar/Frankincense. I think. I don't really know.

[bast2.livejournal.com]

To me, another sure sign that a sex scene has gone awry is the reader tilting their head to the side, getting a faraway look in their eyes and moving their hands around vaguely as though trying to figure out exactly what is going on. "Um... well if he's got his... and her leftt... um, and then he's over on top of her right- wait a minute. ::pause:: No, hang on, he's got his-"

LOL! so funny!

[jessebee.livejournal.com]

Oh, I remember CiCi Lean. :-) Yes, indeed. I'm looking about to see if I have a copy of those squicks (which I think I remember reading *somewhere*) but in the meantime, perhaps these will amuse?


(swiped from the CABS website)

Top 10 things you would love to say on a mailing list but would never have the gonads


10. What the fuck do you mean, "tbc?" with a question mark? Is it a series or not?

9. Quote the entire story to send a line of feedback again and your grandchildren will feel it.

8. Oh, look. It's Mulder and Krycek. That's new and exciting.

7. What are we doing even watching this shit?

6. All right, all right, I'll send you feedback. Stop crying.

5. If you don't care about spelling, then dammit, neither do I.

4. I haven't seen a dictatorship this stringent since my days in the Hitler youth.

3. Nice story. I liked it. And I liked it the last time you posted it, when it was called....

2. Should you continue? Should you continue? I could feed my dog a set of Scrabble tiles and it would shit a better story. How's that?

1. Nice story. Did you send this accidentally?

[lonejaguar.livejournal.com]

2. Should you continue? Should you continue? I could feed my dog a set of Scrabble tiles and it would shit a better story. How's that?

LOL Oh man how I've wanted to say that before!

[lonejaguar.livejournal.com]

I posted a link of one of our choirs doing Dry Bones a few days back... it's pretty cool. Well, I think it is anyway :)

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I downloaded it. That's what the kids were listening to, actually :)