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ciroccojIt's funny how confidential Law Review stuff has to be. We're not allowed to know the names of the authors who submit to us. We're not allowed to discuss what goes on in Law Review meetings. We're not allowed to talk about the articles that we approve. It's all extremely secretive. I feel all CIA-ish.
I do post stuff that happens in the meetings, though I always either leave out or change anything that could possibly be identifying (eg I think I talked about one paper that had inconsistent capitalizations of the word Scientific. For the record, we've received no papers that use that particular word; they were miscapitalizing something else).
It does remind me of my long-lost youth (::snicker::), when I was part of an organization that was so secret that we couldn't even tell anybody we were part of it. Let's call it SooperSekrit. We had a secret location, secret entry codes, secret rituals, damn near a secret handshake. It was hilarious. And yet very, very serious.
It would get particularly funny when members of SooperSekrit had to explain to outsiders where we knew each other from. We were from all different faculties, all different years, so although much of the time saying "We met in PSYC100" was safe enough (just about everybody at Queen's takes it in first year), sometimes we had to invent other stories. Friend of my housemate's; friend of my ex; took Astronomy together; cousins; electronic dating service; belong to the same cult (that actually wasn't far from the truth); met on the train on the way home for Thanksgiving; and the ever-popular Don't remember, actually - where did we meet?
My most favourite moment came when I was with a group of Dons (residence leaders), two of whom knew that I was part of SooperSekrit, and one of whom did not know I was a member. The one out of the loop brought up the topic of SooperSekrit:
Don 1: No, it's funny - you can't tell anybody you're a member.
Don 2 (who knew I was a member): Why not?
Don 1: Not sure. I think it's a security thing.
Don 2: Huh.
Don 1: But what's funny is, when you think you know somebody pretty well, and then you find out they're a member at this place. And you, like, never knew. Isn't that weird?
Me: Yeah, weird.
Don 2: ::snickers discreetly::
Don 1: No, really. And the thing is, I know, like, more than one member. You'd be surprised how many people belong to that thing. And somehow they all keep it quiet. It's weird.
Don 3 (who also knew I was a member): Yeah, it is.
Don 1: I wonder how they keep it secret. I can't keep secrets, like, at all. I'd want to go around and tell everybody, just because it's secret. You know?
Me: Yeah.
***
My most unfavourite moment came when somebody who was going through SooperSekrit training, but had not yet been accepted as a full member, handed in an application to become a Floor Senior in my residence. As a Don, I was asked to look over the applications and give feedback. I pick up this guy's application, and think Oh look: Tom, from training, wants to be a Floor Senior. Hm.
::read read::
Oh look. Tom, from training, who has not been accepted as a member of SooperSekrit, but who has been told in no uncertain terms that he is not to reveal even the fact that he is in training, has put, on his application for Floor Senior, under 'Extra-curricular experience', "Member of SooperSekrit".
Well.
All righty.
Tom's application looks damn good, other than the part where he blatantly lies by claiming membership at a place where he's only a trainee, and where he breaks a confidentiality that he was told was UltraExtraImportant.
I'd best tell the Residence about this blatant lying and confidence-breaking thingy Tom has done.
The Residence does not know I am a member of SooperSekrit.
How, exactly, will I explain to the Residence that I know Tom's a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth?
Hm.
SooperSekrit should also be told to not let Tom finish his training and let him in on our secret location and handshake, as he is a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth.
How, exactly, will I explain to SooperSekrit how I know that Tom's a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth? What with, you know, only having learned this because I'm one of the Dons who got to take a look at his application? An application that I've been told to keep completely confidential?
::brain overheats trying to find a way out of this moral quagmire::
***
Anyway. At least I can say I'm part of the Law Review, cause I'm too old to be doing the secret handshake thing any more. And I can share things like today's gem, a suggestion for a letter to an author:
"Dear Sir: Could you dumb it down, please?"
***
By the way: whoever was bemoaning the fact that they didn't remember the name of the X-Files ep where Scully's dog Queeqeg bites it - or rather, gets thoroughly bitten? It's Quagmire.
I do post stuff that happens in the meetings, though I always either leave out or change anything that could possibly be identifying (eg I think I talked about one paper that had inconsistent capitalizations of the word Scientific. For the record, we've received no papers that use that particular word; they were miscapitalizing something else).
It does remind me of my long-lost youth (::snicker::), when I was part of an organization that was so secret that we couldn't even tell anybody we were part of it. Let's call it SooperSekrit. We had a secret location, secret entry codes, secret rituals, damn near a secret handshake. It was hilarious. And yet very, very serious.
It would get particularly funny when members of SooperSekrit had to explain to outsiders where we knew each other from. We were from all different faculties, all different years, so although much of the time saying "We met in PSYC100" was safe enough (just about everybody at Queen's takes it in first year), sometimes we had to invent other stories. Friend of my housemate's; friend of my ex; took Astronomy together; cousins; electronic dating service; belong to the same cult (that actually wasn't far from the truth); met on the train on the way home for Thanksgiving; and the ever-popular Don't remember, actually - where did we meet?
My most favourite moment came when I was with a group of Dons (residence leaders), two of whom knew that I was part of SooperSekrit, and one of whom did not know I was a member. The one out of the loop brought up the topic of SooperSekrit:
Don 1: No, it's funny - you can't tell anybody you're a member.
Don 2 (who knew I was a member): Why not?
Don 1: Not sure. I think it's a security thing.
Don 2: Huh.
Don 1: But what's funny is, when you think you know somebody pretty well, and then you find out they're a member at this place. And you, like, never knew. Isn't that weird?
Me: Yeah, weird.
Don 2: ::snickers discreetly::
Don 1: No, really. And the thing is, I know, like, more than one member. You'd be surprised how many people belong to that thing. And somehow they all keep it quiet. It's weird.
Don 3 (who also knew I was a member): Yeah, it is.
Don 1: I wonder how they keep it secret. I can't keep secrets, like, at all. I'd want to go around and tell everybody, just because it's secret. You know?
Me: Yeah.
My most unfavourite moment came when somebody who was going through SooperSekrit training, but had not yet been accepted as a full member, handed in an application to become a Floor Senior in my residence. As a Don, I was asked to look over the applications and give feedback. I pick up this guy's application, and think Oh look: Tom, from training, wants to be a Floor Senior. Hm.
::read read::
Oh look. Tom, from training, who has not been accepted as a member of SooperSekrit, but who has been told in no uncertain terms that he is not to reveal even the fact that he is in training, has put, on his application for Floor Senior, under 'Extra-curricular experience', "Member of SooperSekrit".
Well.
All righty.
Tom's application looks damn good, other than the part where he blatantly lies by claiming membership at a place where he's only a trainee, and where he breaks a confidentiality that he was told was UltraExtraImportant.
I'd best tell the Residence about this blatant lying and confidence-breaking thingy Tom has done.
The Residence does not know I am a member of SooperSekrit.
How, exactly, will I explain to the Residence that I know Tom's a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth?
Hm.
SooperSekrit should also be told to not let Tom finish his training and let him in on our secret location and handshake, as he is a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth.
How, exactly, will I explain to SooperSekrit how I know that Tom's a filthy liar and untrustworthy blabbermouth? What with, you know, only having learned this because I'm one of the Dons who got to take a look at his application? An application that I've been told to keep completely confidential?
::brain overheats trying to find a way out of this moral quagmire::
Anyway. At least I can say I'm part of the Law Review, cause I'm too old to be doing the secret handshake thing any more. And I can share things like today's gem, a suggestion for a letter to an author:
"Dear Sir: Could you dumb it down, please?"
By the way: whoever was bemoaning the fact that they didn't remember the name of the X-Files ep where Scully's dog Queeqeg bites it - or rather, gets thoroughly bitten? It's Quagmire.
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 04:38 am (UTC)Before they initiated us into Phi Beta Kappa, they showed us the "secret handshake" -- which we then used at the initiation ceremony in front of a couple hundred parents/friends/etc.
It was so sekrit, in fact, that we taught everyone on our hall by the end of the day because it was SO RIDICULOUS. As was the admonition that when you meet a fellow Phi Bete, you're supposed to USE THE SEKRIT HANDSHAKE.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-04 03:33 pm (UTC)From my extremely hazy memory, I think I ended up breaking the Residence confidence and telling the coordinator of SooperSekrit what I'd read. And that we decided that I should tell the Residence boss that I was under the impression that SooperSekrit had secret membership or something, and that she should probably call SooperSekrit and verify that Tom was a member, and ask them if he had permission to put that on his application.
I think. I'm not actually sure I told the coordinator, though. I may have just spoken to the Residence boss without consulting the coordinator.
I do know that Tom was not hired as Floor Senior and was kicked out of training, and was told that it was because the Residence had called SooperSekrit to verify that he was a member, and his fragile house of pernicious lies had come tumbling down in a blaze of cleansing truth and fanciful metaphors.
which we then used at the initiation ceremony in front of a couple hundred parents/friends/etc.
LOL!!!