Stopping to breathe

[ciroccoj]

Funny - Canadian Thanksgiving pretty much totally passed us by. What with ninja_kat's baby and Chris' oral exam, as well as the various daily trauma-dramas, it sort of... fell off the menu. We went to Chris' friend Beatta's home on Sunday for dinner, and they did have a small piece of turkey along with the rest of the food and I brought pumpkin pies, but they're Polish (I think) so the traditional Canadiana wasn't present.

Edit: Oh and perhaps I should add to this the fact that I haven't updated much lately, or commented on anybody's ljs, because I'm never home and when I am home, our internet connection is almost invariably down. I feel utterly cut off. We need our computers & network hub fixed. Blech. Just spent $240 on a "fix" that did diddly squat, I'm not feeling hopeful.

Update on ninja_kat: I can't, actually. I can't do it justice. I can either write about it as I feel it, which will take several pages and not come close to communicating all that's happened, or I can do a dry recitation of the facts and let you fill in the emotions behind them.

Dry recitation: first off, three months in a wheelchair, in severe pain. Then almost two weeks overdue. Then sixty hours of labour. And not the usual sixty hours = water breaks, slight cramps, oh maybe I felt something, and then thirty hours later, labour pains begin in earnest. No, this was intense pains, five minutes apart, for almost the entire time. No more than twenty minutes of sleep for the duration. Active pushing and all the trauma inherent in a vaginal delivery, ending in a caesarian anyway. Hospitalization, which she didn't want. Complications that make her still unable to walk. Blood loss so severe that she now needs a transfusion. More possible medical interventions in the near future. And today, a CT scan that nobody had bothered to tell her would result in her being unable to breastfeed for two days. Because why would you need to warn a new mother about something like that?

I've only been at the hospital 2-3 hours a day since the birth, and today for less than half an hour - I just went to drop off stuff and take the kids to meet Jacob. So it's not like I'm living this hell constantly. But today, seeing how upset she was over the breastfeeding thing, I just about broke down too. Which is not helpful, she doesn't need to be comforting people while she's in so much distress herself. But it just seems like... enough already, you know? Parenthood almost by definition means self-sacrifice, and enduring pain you wouldn't ever endure for anybody but your child. But this is... it's too much. Enough, already.

Anyway. Like I said, I can't do the situation justice.

Abrupt Topic Change: We'll be turkeying this weekend. Doing the traditional Canadiana, and bringing the feast to ninja_kat's home or to the hospital, if she's still there. And taking the time to be thankful.

• Thankful that despite all the above, Jacob himself is a big, healthy, beautiful boy
  
  
• Thankful for friends like Beatta and her family, with whom we shared our exploding kitchen and the story of the exploding whale, and who, in return, rewarded us with the story of the vapourized barbecue
  
  
• Thankful for our marriage
  
  
• Thankful for our kids
  
  
• Thankful for HBLN
  
  
• Thankful for nearing the end of Chris' residency
  
  
• Thankful for lj
  
  
• Thankful for all of you
  
  
• Thankful for RL friends like Sarah & Rainer & Sandra & Matthias, Todd & Susan & Turtle & Zany, Anne & Eva & Garry, Marie & Nicholas & Oliver
  
  
• Thankful for ninja_kat & Mr. ninja_kat & ninja_kat Jr.
  
  
• Thankful for the fall colours and the relative comfort and safety of our lives, especially compared to the lives of people in places like New Orleans and Pakistan right now

Comments

[ladystarstruck.livejournal.com]

She'll make it through because that's what new mothers do, and whatever future difficulties she runs into are going to seem like CAKE to her. Of course this is not the sort of thing that will cheer her up now, but they are letting her have the wee man with her, right?

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

She'll make it through because that's what new mothers do, and whatever future difficulties she runs into are going to seem like CAKE to her.
God I hope so. Because this is just... wrong.

but they are letting her have the wee man with her, right?
Absolutely. And the big man too, since she can't walk/stand in order to change/soothe the baby.

[ladystarstruck.livejournal.com]

That has its own tiny benefit...I remember after my caesarean Michael had to do all the diaper changing, and I missed the whole meconium bit. Not something I regret!

Such a severe story, what kind of complication did she have? Will it linger or is she basically just recuperating now?

Her situation sounds crazy-worse than mine was, but it was a relief to me to know the baby and I weren't dead, which is what would have happened had I been doing this in anything before the 20th century. Still not exactly a comfort to think of though.

I'm so glad you're able to spend so much time with her - she probably has no idea how to let you know how grateful she is.

[shiningmoon.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a lot for a new mom to take. I don't know what to say -- I hope the difficult times are over quickly.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's a lot for a new mom to take.
Yeah, it's really not the way you want your child's life to begin. Welcome to the world, Mommy's miserable.

I hope the difficult times are over quickly.
Me too. Crossing all fingers and toes here.