ciroccoj | Being Beverly Crusher

So Bev's working away on the Good Ship Enterprise and all of a sudden people start disappearing. And only she can remember them. And then star systems start disappearing, and the universe starts shrinking - literally - until it gets to be only slightly bigger than the Enterprise, and then it gets smaller than the Enterprise so the Enterprise itself starts to disappear, and finally all that's left is Beverly and one deck, and then finally just before everything disappears poof Beverly jumps through a hole in space and discovers she's been stuck in her precocious little boy's science experiment gone amuck.

I want a little hole like that so I can jump through it too.

There's a song called Here's To Suburbia, with the lyrics

Each new appliance
Treats you with defiance
Until it finally falls apart
Call the repairman
In a week he's there, ma'am,
To knock your kitchen walls apart.

That's us. Our computers keep shrinking on us; one day everything works, then the printer goes on one, then gmail e-mail goes on the other, then Yahoo on Netscape, then Yahoo on Explorer, then all e-mail, then livejournal, then everything...

Meanwhile our dishwasher has lost a little wheel-thingy, and isn't getting the dishes so sparkly clean any more, and the laundry tub won't drain so we can't leave it running, we have to keep going up and down the stairs to make sure it doesn't overflow, then our kitchen sink, which drains to the same place, overflows the laundry tub so we can't leave the dishwasher running either, not that it matters because it isn't washing either...

Wesley Crusher, I need your frigging little experimental multi-dimensional portal to take me back to the lovely place where the Holodecks actually work.

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But! Here's a nice bit of comic relief, and virtual flowers for my grammar!bitch heart, posted today at