this'n'that

[ciroccoj]

Well, it's been a less than stellar Christmas for us this year, for reasons I don't feel like getting into. We're doing our best for the kids, and hopefully it's working out OK for them, but I for one am just eager to just get through the holidays as quickly and painlessly as possible.

It has been wonderful in material terms, though, which is worth hanging on to. I got a new sewing machine - not electronic, which is great since that means one less electronic device to screw up. I also got L&O Seasons 3 and 4 from ninja_kat, which made me swoon. Especially as I did not know that the seasons now come with previously deleted or truncated scenes. I feel like Christmas came early. No wait - that wasn't early, that was Christmas. Bugger these overused expressions.

Other than that there were books, books, and more books, for everyone, which made me smile because family-wide bibliophilia rocks. Daniel got dragon books and Magic Treehouse and Droon, Justin got his Pokemon handbook, and they both got SpongeBob Squarepants. Chris got lots of books from his family, and D&D stuff, and one book whose jacket I have to find and quote because it's hysterical.

There were also kinex(sp?) sets, dragon everything, toy food and real cooking tools for Justin, Yu-Gi-Oh and Magic cards, and Madagascar, which I must say is a lot funnier than I remember it being.

Monkey #1: (snooty upper-class accent) Oh, look - Tom Wolfe is speaking at the Rockefeller centre, why don't we take that in?
Monkey #2: (speaks in sign language)
Monkey #1: (rolls eyes) Well of course we're going to fling poo at him.

***
And with that I descend into quoteland, this time from mistful's AU fic, "If You've A Ready Mind", where Draco was sorted into Ravenclaw, which recently veered into slash territory, which surprised me despite the fact that it was very clearly marked as H/D from the very beginning. I have no eyes and few working brain cells, it appears. Anyway this is from where Draco, somewhat to his surprise, starts dating a fellow (male) Ravenclaw and doesn't know what to tell his Slytherin friends:

====
Crabbe put a kindly hand on Draco's shoulder and said: "It's okay. Hermione already told us."

Draco almost collapsed with relief.

"She gave us a pamphlet and told us to study it carefully," Goyle said, beaming proudly. "And we are here to tell you-" he fished around in his pocket and produced a crumpled pamphlet, and began to read out loud laboriously - "that we fully support you in what must doubtless be a trying time for you. We only want your happiness and of course an assurance that you and your life partner are engaging in safe-"

"Stop! Stop and never speak again!" Draco commanded.

"Okay," Goyle said amiably. "I like Boot, though. Good choice."

"Would somebody please act a little bit surprised? Just for me?" Draco implored, wringing his hands tragically and dramatically.

"I'm a little surprised about you," Crabbe allowed, because Crabbe was the kind one. "But everyone's known about Boot for years and years. He told us at the Yule Ball when we asked him if the Ravenclaw girls all said no to him."

"You knew? Why did nobody tell me?"

"We thought you knew! Everybody else knew," Goyle informed him. "Really, Draco, you might learn to be a bit more sensitive. Especially given your valid and special lifestyle choice."
====

Comments

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

The funniest thing in the world is that Crabbe and Goyle sound really intelligent in this. Or just genially dimwitted.

HEE.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

The funniest thing in the world is that Crabbe and Goyle sound really intelligent in this. Or just genially dimwitted.
I have a special soft spot for fics that treat Crabbe and Goyle as anything other than hulking idiot goons. I mean, that's what they are, so writers who treat them that way aren't doing anything wrong, but it tickles me when they're allowed to be anything else.

There was one fic where I've forgotten everything about it except for the fact that every few chapters, the action would move to the Slytherin common room, and Crabbe and Goyle would be in the background reading Proust or working on Fermat's Last Theorem, or saying things like "What's a ten letter word for very talkative or garrulous?" "Loquacious".

[leaper182.livejournal.com]

::Laughs out loud!::

That reminds me of the M.Y.T.H. series by Robert Asprin where, in the later books, Skeeve gets two bodyguards that talk exactly like the guys from GUYS AND DOLLS, but one of them went to business school.

And then, there's a troll named Chumley who has the "Crunch" persona, who is very much the "Crunch SMASH!" type, and Chumley, who's this British-sounding vegetarian who's impeccably polite, despite the fact that he's this monstrous-looking troll.

*giggle*

I rather like the idea of non-moron Crabbe and Goyle!

[neonnurse.livejournal.com]

I have really been enjoying that story!

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Yeah, me too :)

I am finding it a little sad, though, that after veering fairly far away from the canon version of things, by the end of OoP AU Draco's finding himself almost pushed back into canon. Can't wait to see where she takes HBP AU!Draco.