::taking a breath::

[ciroccoj]

Am often reminded these days of a conversation Chris once had with our friend Susan, when they were both doing their final year of medical school and had a spouse and small child at home. Apparently they agreed that it was wise, when one has essentially left one's spouse to act as single parent running a bed-and-breakfast (laundry service included) for a medical student for months on end, to not get upset when the house wasn't spotless. Or even spotty. Or... well, a pigsty, really. They agreed that probably the best approach was to simply keep lowering one's standards, until eventually said spouse met them.

Yeah, I'm thinking of that a lot lately. I'm still doing the homeschooling, and trying to get some of my readings done while the kids play during the day, but I disappear for hours on end on weekends, and am not keeping up my end of the housework. Still doing the laundry, but falling behind on almost everything else. Yesterday I finally attacked a pile of pots & pans that had been in the sink for almost a week (Chris doesn't do cookware; normally not a problem, since I don't mind doing it) and had to open the kitchen window, the reek was so potent. And the slow cooker pot? Smelled like vomit. We were horrified.

At least this is only going to last six weeks from beginning to end. Chris' final residency exams involved over a year's worth of studying at this pace. When Daniel's English Novel Study question asked him "What would you see if you looked in the Mirror of Erised?" (magical mirror that shows you what you most desire) he answered, "Luli (my mom, who had died two years before), and Daddy passing his exam."

Oh well. We'll survive this. We've gotten through much, much worse. A little domestic disorder won't kill us.

Of course, less easy to accept than the filth of the house is the temperamental stuff going on. Chris is doing his best and is being wonderful about letting me have study time, but... well, stress isn't good for him. He gets impatient and unreasonable with the kids. In normal times I can step in and run interference when he's having a bad day so that the kids don't get shat upon for stuff that isn't their fault, and by now he's pretty adept at stepping back, cooling off, then coming back and saying, "Um, yeah, thanks. Didn't realize I was being a jerk." But right now...

It's a bit of a struggle to just let them interact and tell myself that it's not like he's going to be abusive or anything; just... you know. Not quite the reasonable, in-control parent he expects himself to be.

Oh well. Back to the grindstone. June 4, the Bar will be over. One less hoop to jump through.

::sigh::

Comments

[snarkhunter.livejournal.com]

Heee. Is it awful that things like this make me feel less bad about what a shitty housekeeper i can be? When I'm nearly driven out of my own home by the combined stench of the catbox and the unwashed dishes?

Oh,God. I'm so ashamed of having just acknowledged that. I am a horrible, horrible person and a failure as a woman. ;)

[navhelowife.livejournal.com]

Don't sweat the house work too much. The kids will be grown and gone and the housework will still be there. Although I hate housework, I do find it a pretty good stress reliever to have a clean kitchen for some reason. Maybe all that hot water soaks away my anger....
Wishing you an easier time, and sending hugs...