Missed opportunities

[ciroccoj]

Service Dude: Hello good evening madam we are calling for a service checkup. We are getting a troubled signal from your computer.
Me: You're what?
Service Dude: We are getting an alarm from your computer.
Me: Where are you calling from?
Service Dude: From New York.
Me: I mean, what company?
Service Dude: From Microsoft.
Me: Ah. Nice try. We've only got Apples in this house. Please don't call us again.

Now we're all thinking, damn, I can't believe I hung up on the guy. Can you imagine the fun we could've had?

I should've told him we didn't believe in computers. That all we had were abacuses. Abaci. High-tech solar-powered abaci.

I should've told him we had an ENIAC. From Joe O'Grady's Celtic Wilderness Survival Superstore.

I should've gone along and asked him what I should do, following along on my Apple laptop.
Service Dude: Ma'am, can you go to your Start button. [FYI, Apples don't have a Start button]
Me: My what button?
Service Dude: The Start.
Me: You mean the on/off switch?
Service Dude: No ma'am, on your desktop.
Me: I don't have anything like that on my desktop.
Service Dude: It's in lower left corner of the screen.
Me: My desktop doesn't have a screen though. It's just wood.
Service Dude: What?
Me: My desktop. You know, the top of my desk? Where I keep my computer? It's made out of wood.
Service Dude: ...
Me: Or maybe it's particle board, I dunno, it's from IKEA. What screen do you mean?
Service Dude: Your computer screen.
Me: The screen's got an on/off switch?
Service Dude: No, a Start button.
Me: There's no buttons on my screen, it's just flat. I use a mouse on it and I click on stuff.
Service Dude: There's a picture that says Start. Click on that.
Me: Where?

Or maybe I should've gone to stand in front of my TV set and tried to follow his instructions from there.

Me: Open my Trash? I don't have a trash can on my screen. Why would I have that?
Service Dude: Your Recycle bin then.
Me: Recycle bin? Um... the fibre or glass/metal/plastic one?

Damn, missed opportunities :(

Comments

[shiningmoon.livejournal.com]

I had one of those calls too once. Totally a scam. After the fact, I thought of the fun I could have had stringing them along (and eating up time preventing them from calling someone else).

It's sad how many people would just believe this kind of thing, or not even question the fact that not even Microsoft has the kind of resources to just monitor 'alarms' from computers (or even how they got the phone number!).

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