ciroccoj | nighty night

Not so great a day. Spent most of it feeling sick. The boys seemed fine, until we walked back in the door after being at my mom's and Justin threw up.

Chris is on call, so he can't be here to take care of Justin if Justin ends up throwing up all night like Daniel did last week. And tomorrow bright and early, I have my Property exam.

And...

I've been feeling increasingly sad about the Saddam situation as the day has worn on. When I first heard the news, I was jubilant. I think

snarkhunter captured my feelings completely when she wrote, "being opposed to the war doesn't mean I have to be opposed to good things that happen, like *finally* accomplishing *one* of Bushs's stated goals."

But then... I was watching the news most of the day when I wasn't sleeping or feeling ill. And... damn.

I fully understand feeling happy about this. I fully understand many people feeling like (a) at least one good thing came out of this (I feel this myself) or (b) see? we were right all along! Invading Iraq was a good thing!

But damn. All day long I've been watching (and occasionally reading) crowing and gloating and putting down all the other wusses and "enemies" (eg, Canada, France, and Germany) who didn't join in, and who've just been proven wrong, and Who's sorry now? and Now the whole world agrees with invading Iraq! and rah rah rah and nyah nyah nyah and...

God. It's sickening. And incredibly sad. As the opinion of the rest of the world turns from jubilant to slightly taken aback to annoyed to ::eyes rolling:: there they go again, boy these Americans really have no idea how much they're hated right now, do they?

I once analogized to Leslie that I saw the relationship between Canada and America as sort of a "famous, wealthy, flamboyant rock star older brother and quiet, somewhat boring accountant younger brother." And I said a lot of the time it seemed that a lot of the Canadian attitude towards America was of jealousy and resentment and "Mom always liked him best", but there was also a great deal of admiration and love mixed in there too. And I said that maybe the younger brother should grow the hell up and realize that being an accountant was good - that while he might not inspire anybody or grab as many hot chicks, at least he didn't have to deal with drug addictions or bad press or being surrounded by ass-kissers who flattered while secretly hating the older brother.

What I'm feeling right now, to further the analogy, is a little like... like younger brother helplessly watching older brother spin waaay out of control. The addictions getting worse, the ass-kissers getting more and more malicious and vicious, the press circling like hawks. And the older brother almost completely unaware that all his fame and glory isn't winning him any real friends, that he's alienating everyone around him, that what was good and inspiring about him is slowly getting buried by all the nasty shit, and he's heading for some bad, bad places.

Almost nobody in the world agreed with or agrees with the war in Iraq. Other than in America. But it seems like voices of dissent, foreign and domestic, are getting thoroughly shut down or ignored until the pro-war faction is convinced that not only were they right to go to war: everybody else thinks they were right too.

No, they don't.

This is just building more and more hatred and resentment. I keep getting a sick feeling in my stomach like when the next terrorist attack happens on American soil, almost nobody will be left who will give a damn, outside of America. And that a rather huge proportion of the world will actually cheer. And that's frightening, and very, very sad.