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ciroccojIn a survey done on Career Satisfaction recently, there were the following stats among doctors:
Chris fits all of those stats. Wishes he hadn't gone into medicine, would love to leave, can't because of enormous debt and lack of any other job skills.
I wonder if anybody's ever done a survey on doctor's spouses and what they think of their life choice. I know that as much as I love Chris, if I had the chance to go back in time I definitely would not marry him if I knew he would go into medicine.
I'm musing about this today because Chris is of course once again on call. It's been a terrific Christmas so far </sarcasm>. I've mostly been able to make it nice for the kids, but for me it's just another lousy "holiday" marked by resentment of Chris' stupid job.
And as I sit here thinking all of this, I wonder if the medical profession will ever change. I know it has changed significantly, for the better, but that's more cause for horror at how bad things were in the past than cheer at how good they are in the present. And I can't see it ever actually becoming a humane profession. Not in my lifetime, anyway.
It really bugs me when people say they or their kids want to go into medicine. I mean, it seems like such an impressive career, when you watch ER and Chicago Hope and all that crap. There's lip service paid to "Oh yeah, and they work long hours and it's not easy on them or their families", but TV reality doesn't come close to real reality. On TV, their hard work and sacrifice seems noble and heroic. In reality, it's mostly stupid and pointless drudgery.
Verve and Val (a couple of my classmates) and I were chatting after our exam a couple of weeks ago, and at one point Val said, "Your husband's in medicine, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can I ask you something? My daughter's thinking of going into medicine."
"Tell her not to."
Haha, Val was amused. "No, what I want to know is, should she be applying only to universities that offer Honours BA programs? Because that's what her guidance counsellor said."
"I don't know."
So Verve of course piped up saying, "Isn't that wonderful! Does she have a chance of getting in?" and they started to chat about their kids, and at one point one of them asked me, "So what about your kids? Are they going to be doctors like their daddy?"
"I sure as hell hope not."
They both laughed, quite amused. Verve said, "Yeah, you know I read somewhere that everybody wants their kids to grow up to be doctors, except doctors," and she laughed at this funny little factoid. "I wonder why that is?"
"Personally, it's because I love my kids. I wouldn't wish that kind of life on anybody I cared about in the slightest."
Haha, very funny, they chuckled some more.
"No, actually, I'm serious. We don't want our kids going into medicine. We've told them so."
"Why? It's a pretty good life, high pay - they even get paid while they're students! I wouldn't mind that, getting paid to study."
"Um, not exactly. They do a few hours of classes a week and the rest of the time they do most of the actual work in the hospitals. The hospitals would collapse without the residents as cheap labour."
"Still, they get paid pretty good money."
"As residents? I think Chris worked out that it comes to about $6/hour for the first few years."
"That's better than a lot of other jobs."
"Not if you're in debt over $100,000. And you've been in school about 7 years to get to make $6/hr."
"Well, it's only for a couple of years, and it's worth it in the end."
"It can be anywhere from 3-10 years. And I doubt it."
"Why, because they have to work a little extra for a couple of years?"
"No, because they have no life outside of work and not enough time to sleep for years on end."
"Oh, yeah, I know they do a few overnight shifts, but still, a couple of overnights a month isn't that bad."
"No, but 10 overnights a month for a couple of years is that bad."
"Oh, come on - they get to sleep at the hospitals, they just get woken up for emergencies."
"Depends on the service. On some services they don't bother to go to bed because 'on call' is just a euphemism for 'working' - there's no downtime."
"Well, if it was really that bad nobody would stay. If they don't like it they can always quit."
"And pay off $100,000 debt working at McDonald's?"
Anyway. Went on like this for a bit, until I made up some lame excuse and left. They had their own ideas about the wonderful world of medicine, were getting annoyed at me for being so gosh darn negative about the whole thing, and it wasn't worth wasting any more breath on it. They both seemed far more interested in the glory of being Mothers of Doctors than what that glory would cost their kids.
::shrug:: Nothing I haven't seen first-hand.
- 75% of family doctors responded that if they had the chance to do it all again, they would not choose medicine.
- The figure was 60% among all doctors, meaning that just under 50% of specialists (eg surgeons, psychiatrits, pediatricians) also said that if they could go back in time they would not choose to go into medicine.
- In any given year, 50% of doctors are looking into retirement or career change. Their reasons for not leaving are many, but most have to do with debts, lack of any other work skills, and bureaucratic and ethical difficulties inherent in leaving their patients, not job satisfaction or dedication to medicine.
Chris fits all of those stats. Wishes he hadn't gone into medicine, would love to leave, can't because of enormous debt and lack of any other job skills.
I wonder if anybody's ever done a survey on doctor's spouses and what they think of their life choice. I know that as much as I love Chris, if I had the chance to go back in time I definitely would not marry him if I knew he would go into medicine.
I'm musing about this today because Chris is of course once again on call. It's been a terrific Christmas so far </sarcasm>. I've mostly been able to make it nice for the kids, but for me it's just another lousy "holiday" marked by resentment of Chris' stupid job.
And as I sit here thinking all of this, I wonder if the medical profession will ever change. I know it has changed significantly, for the better, but that's more cause for horror at how bad things were in the past than cheer at how good they are in the present. And I can't see it ever actually becoming a humane profession. Not in my lifetime, anyway.
It really bugs me when people say they or their kids want to go into medicine. I mean, it seems like such an impressive career, when you watch ER and Chicago Hope and all that crap. There's lip service paid to "Oh yeah, and they work long hours and it's not easy on them or their families", but TV reality doesn't come close to real reality. On TV, their hard work and sacrifice seems noble and heroic. In reality, it's mostly stupid and pointless drudgery.
Verve and Val (a couple of my classmates) and I were chatting after our exam a couple of weeks ago, and at one point Val said, "Your husband's in medicine, right?"
"Yeah."
"Can I ask you something? My daughter's thinking of going into medicine."
"Tell her not to."
Haha, Val was amused. "No, what I want to know is, should she be applying only to universities that offer Honours BA programs? Because that's what her guidance counsellor said."
"I don't know."
So Verve of course piped up saying, "Isn't that wonderful! Does she have a chance of getting in?" and they started to chat about their kids, and at one point one of them asked me, "So what about your kids? Are they going to be doctors like their daddy?"
"I sure as hell hope not."
They both laughed, quite amused. Verve said, "Yeah, you know I read somewhere that everybody wants their kids to grow up to be doctors, except doctors," and she laughed at this funny little factoid. "I wonder why that is?"
"Personally, it's because I love my kids. I wouldn't wish that kind of life on anybody I cared about in the slightest."
Haha, very funny, they chuckled some more.
"No, actually, I'm serious. We don't want our kids going into medicine. We've told them so."
"Why? It's a pretty good life, high pay - they even get paid while they're students! I wouldn't mind that, getting paid to study."
"Um, not exactly. They do a few hours of classes a week and the rest of the time they do most of the actual work in the hospitals. The hospitals would collapse without the residents as cheap labour."
"Still, they get paid pretty good money."
"As residents? I think Chris worked out that it comes to about $6/hour for the first few years."
"That's better than a lot of other jobs."
"Not if you're in debt over $100,000. And you've been in school about 7 years to get to make $6/hr."
"Well, it's only for a couple of years, and it's worth it in the end."
"It can be anywhere from 3-10 years. And I doubt it."
"Why, because they have to work a little extra for a couple of years?"
"No, because they have no life outside of work and not enough time to sleep for years on end."
"Oh, yeah, I know they do a few overnight shifts, but still, a couple of overnights a month isn't that bad."
"No, but 10 overnights a month for a couple of years is that bad."
"Oh, come on - they get to sleep at the hospitals, they just get woken up for emergencies."
"Depends on the service. On some services they don't bother to go to bed because 'on call' is just a euphemism for 'working' - there's no downtime."
"Well, if it was really that bad nobody would stay. If they don't like it they can always quit."
"And pay off $100,000 debt working at McDonald's?"
Anyway. Went on like this for a bit, until I made up some lame excuse and left. They had their own ideas about the wonderful world of medicine, were getting annoyed at me for being so gosh darn negative about the whole thing, and it wasn't worth wasting any more breath on it. They both seemed far more interested in the glory of being Mothers of Doctors than what that glory would cost their kids.
::shrug:: Nothing I haven't seen first-hand.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-26 08:36 pm (UTC)Not trying to make a particularly profound point I'm afraid. I'm not very good at expressing myself. All I meant was that we all make choices and that I don't see a lot of point in second guessing those that can't be changed. The choices you made presumably brought you things that bring you pleasure like your husband and your kids (as I said, since I don't know you I'm making assumptions) and while different choices might have brought you greater pleasures, they could equally likely have brought greater sorrows.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-27 08:58 am (UTC)Yeah, neither do I, for obvious reasons - you can't undo it, so what's the point of wishing you could?
But I think we can and should look back at choices we made and think about whether they were worth it, in order to learn from that and maybe make different choices in the future.
What I've learned from this is, "When a majority of the people who have made a certain choice regret it, maybe you should think about why that is, and allow that to influence your own choice, and not just assume that they're all just bitter for no good reason."
no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 12:57 pm (UTC)It's me, *choices* again.
I have a theory about why so many doctors regret being doctors. I'm not saying this applies to all doctors, I'm sure it doesn't. But it has been my experience that a disportionate number of people going into medicine (compared to law or engineering or graduate school) do so less on their own inclinations than because they have one or more parents who are really pushing to have a doctor in the family. I think anyone who ends up being pushed into a career choice is more likely to be unhappy with the result than someone who finds their career on their own.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-29 04:51 pm (UTC)However, personally I think it might have more to do with the job itself, or at least the training for the job. I know what I saw in during Chris' 1.5 years of clerkship. I saw a class full of very enthusiastic, eager medical students, itching to finally use their hard-earned knowledge on real patients, brutally ground down until most of them were exhausted, unhealthy, bitter and resentful. Very little compassion or enthusiasm left for their patients or their chosen career.
We've all heard the horror stories "61 hours in a row working, living on coffee and coke, never seeing the sun..." but until you've lived it or seen somebody else live it, you can't fathom what it means, or what it can do to the psyche.
Here's a "normal" week for Chris when he was on some of the worst rotations:
Monday: 7am-7pm (12 h)
Tuesday (on call): 7am-7pm on Wednesday (36h)
Thursday: 7am-7pm (12)
Friday: 7am-7pm (12)
Saturday (on call): 7am-7pm Sunday (36h)
That's 108 hours working. No time to sleep on the overnights. And that does not include travel time to and from the hospitals or time required to do extra readings.
Most of the women gained weight during their clerkship, as they were subsisting on cafeteria food or chocolate bars and chips snatched on the run from one patient to another. Most of the men lost weight. Chris lost about 20 pounds. They all looked pale and pasty, and the majority looked like they aged at least five years in those 18 months. Chris sometimes hallucinated that the linoleum on the floor was moving.
That's inhumane. Extreme sleep deprivation is used by torturers and brainwashers to break people down, for good reason: the human body and brain are not meant to function without respite for that long without going a little bit insane.
Torturers and branwashers use that insanity to bend their victims to their will. What does the medical education system use it for? I'm not sure. They say it's to create doctors who will be so used to operating under extreme duress, that they will be able to function under any circumstances.
I'm not sure I agree with their logic, but even if I did, I can't help but notice that the kind of stress clerks and residents are submitted to, for years on end, would be considered intolerable among engineers, lawyers, teachers, and most other professionals. Yes, professionals work long hours. But 36 hours in a row at least twice a week, on top of a regular heavy 12-hour a day job? I don't know too many lawyers or teachers who'd be willing to do that for 3-10 years in a row.
And I don't know too many people who could take stock after years of such treatment, look at the detritus of their marriages and families and health (30% higher divorce rate among doctors than other professionals, highest rates of alcoholism and drug abuse), and not feel a little bitter. Whether they came to the profession because Daddy and Mummy pushed them or because they wanted to help cure sick people, their bitterness and regret do not seem unreasonable to me.