Mixed Nuts
Jun. 3rd, 2004 10:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ciroccojHave been unable to find out anything about the attempted child-grabbing in our neighbourhood. The Ottawa Police Dept website has a warning about a man who's been posing as a repairman and stealing from people's apartments, but no warning about our incident. Does that mean it didn't happen, or that our neighbour didn't report it, or that the police didn't think it merited a warning on their site? No idea.
So, I'm distracting myself with the following:
A giggle from Sarah:
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over; you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Fred
At 4 am the next morning, the RCMP and the local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Fred
***
Justin's Book Report on Moby Dick
This is the first one I've done with him, and it took me a while to get into a good rhythm with him and make allowances for the fact that he understands, retains, and is able to verbalise far less than Daniel. What with being three years younger, you know :)
What do you remember of Moby Dick?
I don't know.
Do you remember the story?
No.
Do you remember anything?
There was a barrel lying in the sun too much and it got dried up and shrunk.
Why is that important?
It was full of... um... whale oil. [Actually, it wasn't - it was supposed to be a life buoy but it had deteriorated to the point that it could no longer float]
Who tells the story?
I don't know.
Why were they at sea?
To kill Moby Dick but Moby Dick pfffft!! RIGHT out of the water and it takes the whale a lot of energy. And he said, Look at me!! I'm so powerful no one could ever defeat me! Ha ha ha!! And Moby Dick was right. Nobody could ever defeat him.
Why did they want to kill Moby Dick?
No, Captain Ahab wanted them to.
Why?
Cause he ate Captain Ahab's leg.
What happened to the ship?
There was a big whirlpool, but one of them survived.
How?
On the coffin that got turned into something [a life buoy] and got back on the Pequod.
Actually, the Pequod was destroyed too. So who rescued Ishmael?
No one - out came the coffin that was made into something else.
Whose coffin was it?
Queequeg's.
Why did he have a coffin?
Cause he got a cold and got a fever.
What do you think of Moby Dick?
He's strong, has sharp teeth, and that's all I know.
Do you like Moby Dick?
::shaking head vigorously:: Mmm-mmm!
What about Captain Ahab?
Oh, NO ho ho ho.
Why not?
I'll explain later. [At this point our small reviewer spotted a bunny and ran off to chase it. End of review.]
***
From![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sangerin: let us now take comfort in the fact that no nation has a monopoly on stupidity.
Wait - did I say 'take comfort'? I meant 'bemoan'.
Concern over 'Gay School'
So, I'm distracting myself with the following:
A giggle from Sarah:
An old man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament.
Dear Fred,
I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over; you would dig the plot for me.
Love, Dad
A few days later he received a letter from his son:
Dear Dad,
For heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the BODIES.
Love, Fred
At 4 am the next morning, the RCMP and the local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love, Fred
Justin's Book Report on Moby Dick
This is the first one I've done with him, and it took me a while to get into a good rhythm with him and make allowances for the fact that he understands, retains, and is able to verbalise far less than Daniel. What with being three years younger, you know :)
What do you remember of Moby Dick?
I don't know.
Do you remember the story?
No.
Do you remember anything?
There was a barrel lying in the sun too much and it got dried up and shrunk.
Why is that important?
It was full of... um... whale oil. [Actually, it wasn't - it was supposed to be a life buoy but it had deteriorated to the point that it could no longer float]
Who tells the story?
I don't know.
Why were they at sea?
To kill Moby Dick but Moby Dick pfffft!! RIGHT out of the water and it takes the whale a lot of energy. And he said, Look at me!! I'm so powerful no one could ever defeat me! Ha ha ha!! And Moby Dick was right. Nobody could ever defeat him.
Why did they want to kill Moby Dick?
No, Captain Ahab wanted them to.
Why?
Cause he ate Captain Ahab's leg.
What happened to the ship?
There was a big whirlpool, but one of them survived.
How?
On the coffin that got turned into something [a life buoy] and got back on the Pequod.
Actually, the Pequod was destroyed too. So who rescued Ishmael?
No one - out came the coffin that was made into something else.
Whose coffin was it?
Queequeg's.
Why did he have a coffin?
Cause he got a cold and got a fever.
What do you think of Moby Dick?
He's strong, has sharp teeth, and that's all I know.
Do you like Moby Dick?
::shaking head vigorously:: Mmm-mmm!
What about Captain Ahab?
Oh, NO ho ho ho.
Why not?
I'll explain later. [At this point our small reviewer spotted a bunny and ran off to chase it. End of review.]
From
sangerin: let us now take comfort in the fact that no nation has a monopoly on stupidity.Wait - did I say 'take comfort'? I meant 'bemoan'.
Concern over 'Gay School'
