Monday By Numbers

[ciroccoj]

• Countdown to Chris' final exams: 5 weeks
  
  
• Distance from ideal weight: 16 pounds
  
  
• Distance from realistic ideal weight: 6 pounds
  
  
• Number of teeth Jacob has: 2. Sort of. Little teeny-weeny white lines that will become lower incisors.

***
Told Karolyn about Guy. Should really contact my father and stepmother and brothers too. Tomorrow.

***
Why Spellcheckers Are Not Proofreaders:
(And no, I won't provide the link; it's actually a relatively well-written fic, so I feel marginally better about myself just laughing, instead of pointing and laughing.)

• The Dark Lord remained quite for a few moments...
  Quite... what?
  
  
• The room in which I had lost my troubles to the chop, chop, drain, peal, chop.
  Tell me this doesn't make you see a chef gone slightly batty.
  
  
• He turned to his shelves, paused, and then grabbed a small vile.
  Ew.
  
  
• I still cannot bring myself to right his name.
  But can you wrong his name?
  
  
• I gapped at Harry.
  Oh yeah? I Benetonned at him!
  
  
• Untrusting, argent, stupid saviour of everything...
  Better than untrusting gules saviour. Sorry, obscure heraldry joke there.
  
  
• The only light was faint moonlight coming from between the boards across a single window, and it reviled a room empty except for a couch...
  That grumpy old moonlight, reviling all it touches.
  
  
• I watched as he started into his lap...
  Shouldn't you let him have some privacy for that?
  
  
• I couldn't just wonder off into the world alone...
  ?
  
  
• Her mother exclaimed, sending potato peals flying.
  ::snork::
  
  
• I smirked back at every look, trying to be cocky. Causal. Relaxed.
  I try to be non-causal whenever I can.
  
  
• McGonagall was a rare site...
  And an even rarer area.
  
  
• And sometimes it would be Harry in the library, pouring over books.
  Harry's bizarre secret idiosyncrasy. Mop that up, Harry.
  
  
• Despite the fact that Severus surly would have rescued Harry anyway...
  Actually it makes sense this way too.
  
  
• Amycus said, and giggling slightly, and wreathing.
  ... can't... even... wha?
  
  
• Striding confidently—the shinning example of wronged yet dignified...
  Ouch!

Comments

[lizzie-omalley.livejournal.com]

OMG! I am in tears laughing. I too am tired and I don't know if I am punchy laughing or what but these are hysterical.

I definitely needed that.

Checks carefully for typos before hitting post.

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

OMG! I am in tears laughing.
Yeah, I was reading this after the kids were in bed, and had to close the door of the study :)

Checks carefully for typos before hitting post.
LOL! I'm a little post-paranoid too right now :D :D :D

[shiningmoon.livejournal.com]

Untrusting, argent, stupid saviour of everything...
Better than untrusting gules saviour. Sorry, obscure heraldry joke there.

::dies laughing::

Wreathing = writhing?

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

Wreathing = writhing?
I thought that, but it didn't make any sense in context. I honestly have no idea what they were trying to say.

It is a hilarious mental image, though :D :D :D

[ladystarstruck.livejournal.com]

You said "area" hehe, "area" ... rare "area" ... hehe

[ciroccoj.livejournal.com]

LOL!

It rained and now she has soggy... aareas...

[daf9.livejournal.com]

One of my own personal favorites along these lines was a description of an aroused male character depositing his seamen in ... um ... well let's just say it sounded rather painful.

[navhelowife.livejournal.com]

Amycus said, and giggling slightly, and wreathing.
... can't... even... wha?

Grapevine? or perhaps a Floral arrangement....